Page 168 of Vicious Temptation

He's never been a fan of fast cars, street racing, or anything remotely connected to that world. That has always been my thing and Valentina’s. AJ eventually joined us once she was old enough, but Matteo thinks speed limits are useful suggestions that should be followed.

“Friends,” he repeats. “The kind of friends who nurse each other back to health?”

“It wasn’t every day,” I groan. “God, why did I even tell you that?”

“Because you and I are friends.” His voice softens. “More than that. You know you can talk to me, right?”

I let out a long sigh. “You know it isn’t that I wouldn’t tell you.”

“I know.”

I glance over at him.

Damn him and those stupidly pretty eyes. How could I not trust him? Sometimes I think it’s sorcery. The guy spent years following me like an annoying little shadow, and at some point he became one of my favorite people.

The irony isn’t lost on me, and a laugh slips out.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Matteo gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe me for a second, so I turn my attention back to the road.

“It’s just hard for me,” I admit. “For a lot of reasons.”

His expression turns serious. “Because of Ryuji?”

“Partly.”

Losing Ryuji fucked me up in ways I don’t think I’ve ever fully admitted. One day, he was there, and the next, he wasn’t. I know what it feels like to let someone matter, only to have them ripped away. Maybe I’ve spent all this time making sure no one else gets close enough to leave that kind of hole.

“And because Thiago’s a cop?”

I drum the steering wheel. “Yeah.”

The answer comes easier than I expect.

“It’s not that I don’t like him. It’s that every time I imagine what this could become, I hit a wall. He’s a SWAT officer, Matteo. His entire life is built around things I don’t trust and a system I’m not exactly fond of.” I shake my head. “I just don’t know how someone like him fits into my life or how I’ll fit into his. I have too many secrets. I illegally race. Me and everyone I love would be put in a chair for what we’ve done.”

Matteo doesn’t rush to fill the silence. He simply nods as if he understands exactly what I’m trying to say.

“That scares me,” I admit.

The truth is, none of this scared me before Thiago. If things got complicated, I walked away and never looked back.

Now I find myself wishing things were different. I wish he weren’t a cop and that I didn’t have a lifetime of reasons to fear what letting him in could cost me.

Matteo studies me for a moment. “You know what I think?”

“That’s usually how conversations work.”

He snorts. “I think you’re looking ten years into the future when you haven’t even figured out what’s happening today.”

I frown. “Meaning?”

“Meaning, you’re worrying about whether your lives fit together forever, and you haven’t even let yourself enjoy the fact that you like him.”

I open my mouth to argue, then close it because, annoyingly enough, he might have a point. When the hell did he become this insightful? He’s not even old enough to drink.