Page 29 of Pretty and Loco

Brandon was so good to me, the best man that I had ever known. At such a young age, he reminded me so much of my father. Then there was our history. Knowing he had always been these things to me confirmed that he always would be.

“You know, when I came in here, you said you were nervous. Why would you be nervous to marry the love of your life? Your body knew something was wrong with this nigga, and you’re still going through with it, Leah. You’re going to regret it.” Daya said before she spun and left me to myself.

As soon as she did it, I jumped up from the chair that I was seated in and threw up all over the toilet. I couldn’t make it there in time. My lunch escaped my body with a vengeance.

I pulled myself up from the floor and then tried to get myself together.

I hummed the whole ride to the church.

My family didn’t know it, but today was the day that he made a decision.

By the time I stood in the doorway of the church, everyone watched me like they'd seen a ghost as I pranced down the aisle. No one uttered an “ooh” or an “ahh,” and I walked in the baddest dress, with a 10-inch train handmade by a designer I flew in from Ghana. I spared no expense today.

Even Brandon was sweating bullets as I walked to the front of the aisle. He didn’t shed a tear; I didn’t see the love in his eyes that he had for me. All I saw was complete guilt and fear. Once I reached him, I stood there. I spoke to him with my eyes.

Once my veil was lifted, I reached for his hands and smiled. Just witnessing the fallout from me standing at the altar made this the best day in the of my life.

Complete mayhem broke out.

Still, I had to set the tone: Leah wouldn't be played with, and if he wanted me, he had to choose.

***

After going through the embarrassment at the wedding and swearing I’d never talk to Brandon again, all it took was a stupid ass apology, a couple of soft kisses, grand gestures, a sea of tears, and being fucked into complete oblivion for me to give in. He swore that he and Veronica were done, and like a fool, I believed him. But this time, I did on my own terms. Every late night at the office, every text message that came to his phone, every phone call were all being tracked by me.

I put hidden cameras in his office and installed a parental control app on his phone that mirrored it. I saw everything he did, apps he installed; I even tracked his steps on the health app to see if they were consistent with him being at work. And for a second, I thought that I was doing the most. For months, nothing changed. I'd convinced myself I didn’t need to do this anymore. I thought that maybe what Brandon said about him not wanting to lose me was the truth.

Seven more days, and you’re done, Leah. I told myself. I would give myself until July 15th to keep the app installed on his phone, then delete it permanently.

Three days remained in the week when he received a message from the same woman who had ruined my wedding day.

“Brandon, can you come by the house?”

I kept the message open, waiting for his response, not even trusting technology enough to close the thread and risk losing it.

It appeared. “You said you were done with me.”

“You cheated on me! You blindsided ME! You can’t think I was wrong.”

“I’ll be over there after work.”

This time, tears rolled down my face. It hurt on a different level because, aside from being my lover, he had also been my friend. At the very least, he was supposed to respect me enough not to do this. But he didn’t care.

Not only was he married to one fool, but he also had another one on retainer. As soon as I saw that message, I was done being his fool, and I had decided to be his karma.

My sister told me I would regret what I did that day. This is one of the times that she might be right.

She and I haven’t talked since the night of the wedding. It was sad that we had such a great bond, and the only thing we’ve ever fallen out about was me choosing to be with a man who disrespected me like this.

I stopped by the gas station and then waited for him to get off work. He texted me as soon as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Hey baby. I’ll be working late tonight. I’ll see you when I get home.”

I rolled my eyes so hard.

“Love you,” I responded.

“Love you more, beautiful.”