Page 47 of Lust and Honor

“You remember, don’t you?”

I draw in a breath of cool air, shut the fridge door, and step away. He lets me go without resistance, his eyes burning with lust. Those words echo in my mind again: Maxim never spends two nights in a row with the same woman.

“I remember,” I breathe.

A smirk settles on his lips as he steps closer, so close there’s barely a breath separating us. I tilt my head up to meet his gaze. He brushes a strand of hair away from my face, his voice low and soft,

“You were all flustered. Cheeks flushed, couldn’t even speak, remember that?”

I nod, unable to control the wild rise and fall of my chest. His thumb grazes my lips. His hands feel rough, masculine, real.

He keeps going, voice low and dirty. “Your lips tasted like vodka. I couldn’t get enough of them.”

He leans down, his lips brushing mine for a fleeting moment. I pull back, stopping him from kissing me. His breath fans across my face as he rests his forehead on the top of my head and whispers,

“You clenched around my cock so tight, it felt like you never wanted to let me go, remember that?”

He moves to touch me between my legs, but I grab his wrist and stop him. My whole body trembles with adrenaline as I look straight into his eyes.

“I remember everything. That night, before I left the house, I knew why I was going to that club. I knew I wanted you, but I lied to myself. I put on my plainest clothes, skipped makeup, convinced myself I wasn’t chasing lust.”

He straightens up, pulling his hand back. His breathing is still heavy, but his face shows he’s listening.

I go on, “When I saw you, when we kissed, I knew you mistook me for someone else, but I kept lying to myself. I told myself maybe you remembered me, remembered the girl you saved. That night, I felt pleasure. I won’t deny it. But it wasn’t really you I slept with. I slept with the man I’d made in my head, a decent, honorable man. And you didn’t sleep with me either. You slept with the whore you thought I was.”

“Now you know I’m a murdering criminal,” he says. “And I know you’re some Mother Teresa. But your cheeks are still flushed, and I’d bet there’s a pool between your legs. And me? Well, you can see for yourself.”

He gestures toward the obvious bulge in his sweatpants, making my cheeks burn even hotter. He continues with a grin,

“Even if I’d known who you were that night, it wouldn’t have changed a damn thing. You were getting fucked either way. You want to tell me if you knew who I was, you wouldn’t have gone through with it?”

Before I can answer, he cuts in, his tone serious, “No, Ava, you would have. No matter what that nun drilled into your pretty little head, you’re still a young woman with needs. So why fight it?”

“Because it’s not right.”

“Life isn’t about right and wrong. It’s about winning or losing. And if you want to win, you better learn to take what you want, when you want it. You better start caring more about your desires than some dumbass rules nobody even remembers writing.”

“Everyone should live by what they believe in. Maybe the world needs people like you, but it’s people like me who keep it spinning.”

“So, you suppressing your needs somehow helps humanity?”

“I never said I wanted to suppress my needs.” It slips out before I can stop it.

A mischievous glint sparks in his eyes, making it hard to keep talking.

I shake my head and press on, “Look, you’re a good father.”

The corner of his mouth twitches upward. He winks, playful as hell.

“I can be a good sinner for you too. Just say the word.”

I let out an exasperated breath. His arrogance pisses me off, but he’s right, he has every reason for that infuriating confidence. Only a fool could look at that chiseled eight-pack and that face, carved like a Roman god, and not give in on the spot. And that fool, unfortunately, is me.

“I can’t, and honestly, I don’t want to cut you out of Aurora’s life anymore. But I have control over my own life, and I don’t want to get mixed up with someone like you.”

His brows shoot up, and he fixes me with a hostile glare that makes me feel like he might pounce at any second. A few seconds pass before he speaks in a chilling tone,

“So now that you feel safe, you’re off to find some righteous, virtuous guy like yourself? You think I’d let some stranger near my daughter?”