Page 84 of Matteo

“Give me all you got.” He says it gently, and I know he can take it.

I adjust my position, so that I’m facing him. “People like you don’t care about the consequences of crossing lines. For me, this contract with Knight Enterprises is my best shot at getting business going forward, once I leave Knight Enterprises. It proves that I’m legitimate, and good at what I do, especially if Knight Enterprises hired me to work for them. I don’t want anything to ruin that.”

“Fair point,” he says, nodding. “But you got one thing wrong. I do worry about the consequences of crossing lines.”

I shift and slide my legs under me, hugging the water bottle to my stomach. I wonder if he’s now going to tell me that we can’t kiss anymore.

He inches closer, and closer until he and I are sitting together. “Anything more I can do to help?”

I relax, feeling relieved about what he didn’t say. “No, thank you. You’ve done enough to cheer me up.”

Now that I have him here, next to me, in my apartment, on my couch, I want us to stay like this. He puts his arm around my shoulder, and I shift myself so that I’m snuggled up against him like a cat.

This feels … so right.

My body moulds to his, fitting perfectly. I lean into him some more, breathing in his scent, savoring the feel of him next to me. “This is nice.”

“Hmmmm.” His arm around me feels so protective, so comforting. I’m scared that I’m dreaming and this isn’t real, because how surreal is this? Instead of coping alone, I have someone who is genuinely concerned about me.

My boss, no less.

I savor the moment and we sit like that for a while, in comfortable silence. This is what it feels like to have someone show up in your life. To know that if you’re in pain, they notice.

It's what bonded me to Vlad all those years ago, his care of me, which was so alien to me before then. He took one look at where I was living, with the dirty needles on the floor, the damp walls and stained mattresses, and helped me move somewhere safer.

He gave me work so I could afford it. He taught me how to turn the one thing I was good at into a career. He looked out for me and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. But it was never romantic. Not even close.

What’s happening here is different. Dangerously different. Because when Matteo looks at me, I don’t feel just protected.

I feel wanted.

I feel seen.

Maybe that’s why my heart keeps beating so hard. I tilt my head back against the couch and glance up at him. “I feel like we’ve known each other for a long time,” I murmur, wondering what it would be like to have him here, for longer, not just a fleeting visit.

I’m sick of being alone.

“Same.”

“And yet, there’s so much about you I don’t know.”

“What do you want to know?” he asks.

I pause to think. There are times when it feels like I understand this man, but sometimes it’s obvious I don’t.

Like now, for instance. In this moment, with both of us sitting snuggled up together. Like Arthur and Irene sometimes do, especially when she’s had an episode and she’s forgotten something. He holds her close, trying to find some remnant of the woman he has loved for decades.

I never expected this from Matteo, and yet here we are. But he’s at an advantage. “You have the upper hand here. You know more about me, because you’ve got my resume.”

He shifts, adjusting his arm around me so that it rests easily in the crook of my neck. “Your resume just gives me a dressed-up version of you.”

“Dressed up?” I cry, exaggerating my indignation. “It’s the truth.” Or at least, as much of the truth as I felt comfortable sharing. I didn’t lie, or deceive anyone. I just hid the parts I didn’t want exposed. “I haven’t seen your resume.”

He shifts his body away, flips a hand at himself. “This is me. Everything about me is written on my body.”

“I’ll have to spend some time reading it.”

“I would love for you to take your sweet time reading it, babe.”