Page 61 of Matteo

“Tell me how is it that you’re running your own cybersecurity firm at the age of twenty-five?”

“It’s all on my resume.” I really don’t want to discuss this. If he’s seen my resume then he knows my cell phone number, where I live, and my carefully curated work history.

“Is there something you don’t want me to know?” he asks, skating dangerously close to the truth.

“I don’t have anything to hide.” But my insides churn, regardless.

“I was curious. Needed to see your work history. My old man hired you, and he hires only the best. How did you get into cybersecurity?”

I have to be careful how I answer this. “I got access to an old, donated laptop at an after-school computer club. That’s where I learned the basics. I started downloading software and got into basic scripting and it just went on from there.”

“That is cool.” He sounds impressed. “You must have been really clever.”

“It was more that I loved school.”

His eyes open wide. “You did? I hated school.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” I imagine him being the sullen, broody kid who hated lessons. I can’t see him being the sporty type. I wasn’t either.

“Go on, explain.” He seems interested, and no one has ever asked me about this before.

“Going to the after-school computer club, gave me a reason to stay there longer.”

“No cheerleading or ballet for you?” His eyes twinkle with amusement.

“Ballet?” I snort. “You and I went to completely different schools. We come from completely different worlds.”

He nods, his expression sobering. “You liked staying at school?”

“I would have slept there if I could have. I moved homes a lot, and spent a lot of time alone. Went to lots of different schools. When I was fifteen I escaped into computers.”

“Your foster parents weren’t good to you?”

I think about the many homes I moved around in, of how I spent the rest of my childhood moving between foster homes and group homes. I was given food and lodging, and placed in families, but it was always temporary, and I never formed any deep bonds. I never felt like I belonged.

“It was never a permanent solution. I moved around a lot.”

I naively called the first few places home, but it quickly became apparent that they were nothing of the sort. They were holding places; some for a few weeks, some for months. And then I’d have to move again. I learned never to acquire many possessions, to not trust easily, and to get used to leaving quickly. To expect to be abandoned.

I also became good at reading people.

“I’m sorry.” His eyes fill with genuine sympathy. It stuns me, because he looks sad, like he can feel my hurt.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” But now I’m curious, and want to poke some more. “You have a place you can call home. You have a base that’s permanent, and even though your relationship with your father is prickly—”

“Prickly?” He chuckles softly. “Never heard it called that before.”

“You have five brothers,” I remark. “Do you know what I would have given to have siblings? A family? To feel like I belong. To know that I have my people.”

My voice rises, filling with emotion, and I rein it in fast. I hate unraveling, and this seems to happen a lot when I’m around this man. Matteo doesn’t realize how much he has to be grateful for.

How blessed he is that he has so many people around him.

That he has family.

Before I met Vlad, and Arthur and Irene, I was mostly alone. I knew very early on in my life that no one was coming to save me, and that I had to take care of myself.

We sit quietly for a while. My trying to keep my composure and Matteo? I have no idea what he’s thinking.