Page 201 of Matteo

I'm disgusted that he's fighting an option that is easy for him to take. The man is worth billions, and it’s killing him to let a little girl live. Mama’s words and images of my time with her flash through my mind. Her voice, her hands, the way she looked at me when I left.

Do the right thing and don’t let it haunt you.

I miss her with all my heart, and close my eyes for a fraction of a second. “No,” I say finally, opening them again. “I won’t let you die, because I’m not like you, and that’s a blessing. It’s something I’m grateful for every single day.” I clench my jaw, despising him even more with every passing second. “While I won’t let you die, I’m not going to pretend that what you do doesn’t have consequences anymore.”

“Which means?”

“Fix this. Fix it so that people like Alex’s niece don’t lose out because of a decision we made.”

“And in return?” he asks.

“You get to live.”

Chapter 46

MATTEO

The bar feels louder than it should for a Friday night. We haven’t been here since we celebrated Sonny’s engagement drinks. Drinks which Alex arranged.

Now we’re here because it’s Elizabeth’s leaving do and Alex has left the company. Elizabeth has finished her security audit and there are no more technical issues to deal with, so her project has come to an end. I offered her a job, but she turned it down saying that she didn’t want to stay here. She said she’s going back to her cybersecurity firm, but she thanked me for the experience.

The guys are all laughing over a joke someone made. Sonny’s clapping his hands like it’s a celebration, but sadness lingers in the air. Elizabeth has become such a valued member of the team and she’s fit in so perfectly here that it’s sad to see her go.

It’s especially devastating for me.

We’ve been distant for the last two weeks, more like work acquaintances who have no reason to talk, than lovers. But we decided at the last meeting I had with her, that whenever we have issues or there’s work I can pass on, I’ll reach out to her. She’s leaving the company, but I don’t want her to leave my life. Not if I can help it.

We’re all sitting around a long table. Sonny, Joel, and a few of the others from the team. There are drinks and food, but no one’s eating. Everyone’s laughing and talking and trying not to think too hard about recent events.

There’s a hole in our large group—Alex was always around, and he’d been here for so long that his sudden departure has been hard to accept. No one has said his name outright, but it lingers in his absence; a reminder of what’s missing. At times I glance toward the door half expecting him to walk in.

His betrayal has hit hard, and I imagine Elizabeth feels that way about me. I’m not worthy of her, and I have to accept that I had my chance and I blew it.

The team start talking about Alex, and then Sonny says he’ll be fine, shrugging as he takes a sip of his beer. “Guys like that always land on their feet.”

“Depends what fine looks like,” Joel mutters.

I don’t have anything to say, because I know exactly what happened, what we discovered, what he did and tried to hide. We’ve managed to keep it to ourselves, so the tech guys don’t know the exact reason why he left. Whether they’ve reached out to him, I don’t know.

I made sure that the police weren’t involved. I didn’t want a public scandal and we didn’t want to press charges. Just removing him from the company quietly, stripping his access and erasing his name from our internal systems was enough. The old man wanted to involve the law, but I refused and he had no choice but to accept my decision.

For now, he has to do what I say, until he gets my kidney.

And somewhere out there, after putting pressure on the old man, Alex’s niece is getting a second chance because of a phone call I made. Alex dropped me a message to thank me. It doesn’t right every wrong, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Across the table from me, Elizabeth is laughing at something Joel has said. It hits me in the chest again, just like it did all that time ago, when we were last here, when I thought she and Joel were flirting, when I didn’t realize that she didn’t see him as someone to flirt with, that I was the one she wanted.

I’ve carried that longing in my heart all this time, but she doesn’t want anything between us. Still, her laughter is a welcome sound, something I haven’t heard properly in weeks. She looks lighter and somewhat happier, but not completely. Not like we were when we first went on the carriage rides in Central Park, or when she first took me to the senior center where I met Arthur and Irene.

How she is with me now, is not that version of Elizabeth. She holds back, and she’s careful in the way she moves and listens, in the way she is when I’m around. She doesn’t really look at me. Not the way she used to. But every now and then our eyes meet, and our gazes hold for a second too long until one of us looks away.

Usually, her.

At least we’ve spoken. I’ve told her where I stand, and I want to keep telling her. I want to keep apologizing every single day, but I can’t. It’s not going to make a difference. Elizabeth is a strong woman. An independent woman. She’s sassy and she has smarts. She has everything going for her.

What I did was unforgivable. I didn’t believe in her or trust her. That’s why Vlad means the world to her, and I mean nothing.

“Hey.” Sonny nudges Joel. “You think she’s going to take over your job? She could maybe come back now she’s some big-shot consultant.”