Page 178 of Matteo

What if this is an external threat? Who in my circle of acquaintances would do such a thing?

Vlad?

I can’t see it. Vlad would never hurt me. He only wants the best for me.

Takumi?

Why? Just because I ran into him? There’s no reason for him either.

Maybe it’s a team of people and not one person.

I consider the tech guys at work. They’re clever. They’re from Ivy League universities, though this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re super smart. Are they anti-corporation and anti-establishment, just like Vlad and I were? Is this a case of corporate hacking from the inside?

Now there’s a thought worth exploring.

“Still here?”

Matteo’s voice behind me sends shivers all along my skin. He comes by my desk and I look up at him just as Alex comes out of the server room. He stares at us both. I can see the cogs in his mind working overtime.

“Good night, guys,” he says a little awkwardly. It’s like he can’t work out if we’re together or not, like he’s a third guest at a dinner for two.

“See you tomorrow,” Matteo shouts as Alex leaves the lab. Then it's just me and Matteo.

And it starts happening again.

No matter how hard I try not to notice him, not to feel his presence, not to be affected by him, my body betrays me every single time.

He’s wearing a white tee and faded jeans. Biceps peek out from under the sleeves. I remember the tattoos all over his body and how my fingers would trace them, how I’d kiss them and lick them, and how we’d just go crazy over one another. The things we did in bed, the way we’d keep going after hours of hot, sweaty sex. How I’d be sore down there and how he’d kiss it better.

He looks at me with hesitation.

“What?” I say, prompting him, and at the same time, dreading what his words might be. Has something else happened to implicate me further?

He seems fidgety, fingering his leather bracelet, looking uncharacteristically anxious. “You said Vlad is the only one who ever believed in you.”

I freeze at his words, and wonder how long he's been mulling them over.

“I believe in you, Elizabeth,” he continues. “I always did, but I need proof. I can’t blindly go against the system, against everything that Alex showed me. Just give me the proof. Find it for me.”

I hear the desperate plea in his voice, see the stress etched out in fine lines on his forehead. Lines I hadn't noticed before.

Something inside me loosens, and just as he’s about to walk away, I touch his arm, because I’m not ready for him to leave.

“How are you?” I ask, pulling my hand away. Touching his skin was like being grazed by electricity. I felt a jolt zing through me. “H-how are you doing?”

My voice feels oddly high and tinny. Like I'm forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Doing the hard thing. Who would have thought, not so long ago, that asking this question of the man who brought me so much joy, would be hard?

He stops, like he’s equally shocked by my question. “I could be better.”

“I heard the guys talking. You’re going to donate the kidney to your father.” He's doing this to help a man he despises. I wish I'd been there for him, when he came to that decision. It couldn't have been easy. I hate that we're caught in this monumental mess that has turned us into strangers.

“Yeah.”

I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. He just stares at me, almost through me, like he's not even here, just his body.

“When is the surgery?” Because I need to know. I feel so bad that he's juggling so much emotional conflict with everything at work, and me. It can't be easy, thinking about us, about what he thinks I did.

“I don’t know yet. It's not been decided. Too many medical tests and stuff going on for now.”