Page 56 of The Christmas Star

I turned and with our faces inches apart, smiled. ‘In your dreams,’ I said, slipping another oyster into my mouth.

Conversations abounded; the atmosphere around the table was relaxed and jovial. Back in the UK, our celebrations only ever consisted of Mum, Dad and me; until Dad passed away and three became two. I’d often wondered what a bigger family Christmas would be like and finding myself part of one, albeit by default, I wasn’t disappointed.

The entrées continued with slices of smooth buttery foie gras perfectly balanced with a fig compote, followed by noix de Saint-Jacques poêlées à la crème which sounded way more romantic than scallops with cream. Le plat principal was made up of succulent turkey stuffed with chestnuts and herbs and served with gratin dauphinois potatoes and thin green beans sautéed with garlic and butter. As for the cheese course, if I’d thought the Roquefort and Vacherin Mont d’Or were good, they were nothing compared to the Brie à la truffe. In my view, whoever came up with the idea to combine black truffles and cheese was an absolute genius.

By the time I’d eaten my last forkful of creamy and chocolatey bûche de Noël, the Yule Log dessert Lucas had earlier mentioned, I doubted any of us would be hungry until the new year. We’d been sat around the table for hours.

Sophia and Lucas had been in and out of the kitchen all evening and even though everyone had offered assistance at some point, including Theo and me, being the perfect hosts, they’d declined. In some ways, the two of them reminded me of Mum and Dad. They were younger than my parents of course, and admittedly a lot more stylish, but they worked as a team, and I could see from their casual touches and discreet smiles that they adored each other.

It could have been the champagne and wine taking hold, but it seemed my transference had got worse. Glad to experience my first le Réveillon de Noël with Theo, I loved hearing him speak French, which I had to admit was quite the turn-on. He could have been talking about wiring a plug and to my ears, it would have sounded sexy and I was almost disappointed when the conversation dipped into English. Theo had encouraged me to join in, but I’d been happy to just sit and listen. As well as eat, drink and be merry.

* * *

‘I wonder if Mum and Jackson enjoyed their le Réveillon de Noël,’ I called out. Having changed into my pyjamas, I rinsed my toothbrush and set it down next to the bathroom sink. ‘I’ve had a great night.’ I switched off the light and made my way to the bedroom. ‘It was kind of Lucas and Sophia to invite us.’

Entering, I stopped still. I might have been disappointed, but I wasn’t surprised to see Theo laid on his back, with his eyes closed. After a frantic couple of days, he had a lot of rest to catch up on.

Careful not to disturb him, I climbed in beside him and slid under the covers. I inched onto my side and using my elbow to prop myself up, rested my head in my hand. I watched the rise and fall of Theo’s chest as he breathed and, tempted to run my finger from his forehead, along his nose and down to his chin, studied his profile. As he stirred and turned towards me, I thought, The man’s handsome even in his sleep.

He was also kind and patient. Funny, even. Having got to know him more, he had all the qualities I wanted in my Henry Cavill lookalike and as much as I tried to deny it, I knew there was a connection between us. I sensed it in how he looked at me; in his touch and through his willingness to step in as my protector; be that when I was stuck up a tree or on the fringe of conversations because I didn’t understand what was being said. Theo wasn’t perfect. He certainly had his secrets and the way, in just a few days, he’d managed to thaw some of the iciness I’d used as an emotional shield all those years seemed both miraculous and frightening. It scared me to think that after years of refusing to settle, of waiting for my perfect man to melt my frozen heart, I might just be laid there watching him sleep.

As if sensing my stare, Theo opened his eyes.

I smiled. ‘Thank you for today.’

Hoisting himself onto his elbow, he mirrored my position. ‘You’re welcome.’

As we both fell silent, my gaze went from his blue eyes to his full mouth and while my head said, no, don’t do this, my heart and body screamed louder. I could see in his eyes Theo felt the same and slowly leaning towards each other, our lips tentatively met. What started out as a simple kiss, became long and lingering and as my whole being ached for more Theo gently manoeuvred me onto my back. Feeling his body against mine, our embrace grew more urgent. My stomach gurgled from all the food I’d eaten and feeling my diaphragm contract, I froze.

Drawing his face upward, Theo looked at me concerned. ‘Are you okay?’

Suddenly pushing him off, I leapt out of bed. ‘I’m gonna be sick,’ I said as I ran to the bathroom.

CHAPTER 36

CHRISTMAS DAY

I stirred, not wanting to wake up from the most comfortable night’s sleep. My brain, however, had other ideas and an image of Theo and me kissing popped into my head. My eyes flashed open and with my back to his side of the bed, I didn’t dare move. I cringed in embarrassment. With enough to worry about already, it was just like me to make things awkward and complicated.

Not wanting to wake him, I gently eased the duvet to one side and holding my breath, carefully swung my feet onto the floor. Ready to sneak out of the room, I turned to look at Theo but to my surprise he wasn’t there. My shoulders slumped and my chin dropped to my chest. I’d hoped to have at least one cup of Christmas morning coffee before having to face him.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that as a fifty-year-old woman, if I wanted to kiss a man I could. I didn’t usually make the first move when it came to dalliances with men but picturing Theo manoeuvre me onto my back, it wasn’t as if he’d been an unwilling participant. I recalled the softness of his lips and the speed at which our embrace went from tentative to full-on passion. My bravado vanished.

I’m going to be sick wasn’t the best response to a first kiss and whether Theo showed it or not, it had to have dented his ego.

My stomach sank at the thought of him holding my hair back while I kneeled next to the toilet throwing up. Still able to hear the sound of my retches, shame spiralled through me. It had to have put Theo off me for life. I supposed it was for the best. I had enough to think about, what with Mum and my job.

Theo was already in the shower when I entered the lounge and glad of the reprieve, I headed straight for my phone. I anticipated at least a text message from Mum wishing me a happy Christmas. I sighed. There was a missed call notification from Hattie which had come through the previous evening, but nothing else.

I made some coffee and taking a cup with me, sat at the dining table. My phone began to ring. I snatched it up. I’d known Mum wouldn’t be able to resist getting in touch on Christmas morning.

I checked the screen and was immediately crestfallen as instead of Mum ringing, it was Joyce and Hattie wanting a WhatsApp group call.

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I was tempted to ignore them, but I knew if I didn’t respond they’d only keep trying until I did. I also knew that one whiff of Theo’s presence and Joyce wouldn’t just be asking questions, she’d be joining dots that weren’t there.

I twisted in my seat and looked towards the bathroom. With the shower still running, I propped my phone against the bowl on the dining table, supposing if I was quick, I could get the call over and done with before Theo finished up.

‘Merry Christmas!’ Joyce and Hattie said when I answered.