Page 74 of Bonds of Shame, Bonds of Lust

"Nobody is falling."

"I mean it."

She leaned against the railing, comfortable. "You are dramatically overestimating how likely you are to fall off a cruise ship."

I looked over the edge again. "Nope. Still terrifying."

She laughed and turned back toward the room. "Come on. Let me show you the rest."

I followed her inside.

And that was when I let myself see it.

The bed. The singular bed.

I stopped. "Janice."

She looked up innocently. "Yes?"

"There's only one bed."

"Sure is."

"There's only one bed." I raised my eyebrows in a way I thought was intimidating. Evidently it wasn't.

She folded her arms. "Would you rather have two tiny uncomfortable beds or one giant comfortable one?"

I looked at the mattress. It was huge.

Janice shrugged. "Don't worry. I'm skinny. I don't take up much room."

Then she winked. Somehow that wasn't reassuring. I tried, briefly, to find a way to ask Janice what exactly was happening here. But I couldn't say it. Janice was my best friend. I was being silly.

I was on a ship going into the Caribbean. For the first time in years, I had no patients waiting, no paperwork stacking up, no Brad disapproving of me. And I had a body that hadn't stopped humming since my run with Ricardo.

I intended to enjoy myself. Or at least panic somewhere tropical for a change.

Later that afternoon, we wandered the upper decks. The pool area was packed with women laughing, talking, drinking frozen cocktails, soaking up the sun.

And I was looking.

I'd spent my life learning to look at women without seeing them. Clinical, registering and dismissing, the way I'd look at a magazine cover. But not today. A redhead at the pool edge, whose breasts moved a particular way when she laughed. A woman near the bar with deep tan lines and a small tattoo at the base of her spine.

I caught myself admiring and I didn't look away.

Almost every woman here was wearing a much smaller swimsuit than I owned. Mine suddenly felt as if it belonged to somebody's aunt. An elderly aunt.

I leaned closer to Janice. "Do they sell swimsuits on board?"

She immediately smiled. "Oh, absolutely."

"Let's go shopping."

The ship's boutique carried everything from designer sunglasses to evening dresses. The swimsuit section took up an entire wall.

I picked up a sensible one-piece.

Janice put it back. "No."