Page 56 of Bonds of Shame, Bonds of Lust

The bouncer saw the bracelet on my wrist and gave me the small nod. Janice swept past him with her usual unbothered familiarity, hand light at my lower back, steering me through the inner doors.

"Drinks first," she said, her hand sliding from my lower back to the bone of my hip.

I let her steer me to a small round table near the lounge where we'd sat the last two times.

I picked up the glass of wine she slid toward me and took a longer pull than the first sip required.

"Tonight is about you and me," she said, leaning in. The slip dress caught the light. "And whatever this room decides to give us. Yes?"

I looked at her. The eyes I'd known calibrated to a different light. The pulse moving in the soft skin of her throat.

"Yes," I said.

"Good girl."

The words penetrated my center, deeper than last time. I let myself feel it. I set the wine down.

The song was slow. Her hand at the small of my back drew me close. Her other hand laced through mine and held it at chest height between us. She was four inches taller than me, but her barefoot and me in heels put our faces closer than I'd expected.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi."

"Are we dancing, or are we dancing?"

"What's the difference?"

She smiled. Slow. "One of them I can do with my mother, the other with my lover."

She let go of my hand and put both of hers on my hips. Pulled me an inch closer. The slip dress moved against the silk of mine and her thigh came up between mine the smallest fraction and the room went a little dimmer at the edges.

"Janice."

"Mm."

"What are we doing?"

"Dancing." Her mouth was close to my ear. The faint warmth of her breath. "Don't overthink it."

I didn't overthink it.

I let her hands stay where they were. I let her thigh stay where it was. I let her pull me close enough that her chest pressed against mine and her cheek brushed mine when she turned her head, and when she breathed out near my temple, I breathed in to match her.

A few weeks ago, I'd run out of this club and shame burned through me like a sickness.

Tonight I was dancing with my best friend's hands on my hips and her body fitted along mine and the only thing I felt was the slow rolling heat of being touched by someone who'd been waiting to touch me longer than anyone else.

Janice's hand slid up my back and pressed at the base of my neck. Held me close. Her mouth moved near my ear.

"You feel that?" she murmured.

"Yes."

"That's been here a long time, Lacey."

I closed my eyes for a count of two. Opened them.

"I know."