Page 6 of Property of the Woodsman

“And it won’t be weird when Reed comes by a few weeks later and you’ve broken things off with the handyman sex god?”

I shrug, wishing a teeny bit that the date wasn’t pretend. Not because I think Atlas is a great catch, but because I crave that ‘want you so bad feeling’ everyone talks about. Reed never had that level of passion, and it seems like it’s happening for everyone but me.

“It’s not… it’ll be fine. Look, I’m forty this year, Mabs. Forty! I know people say that’s not old, and blah blah blah, but it feels pretty damn old when your ex trades you in for a twenty-something. I can’t get the image of him hanging all over her out of my head. It’s burned into my skull. I mean, who shows up to a pee-wee football game in a bikini top?”

Mabel nods enthusiastically. “And this whole thing will be over in a month.”

“They’ve been together two months already and she’s like totally obsessed with him.”

“Because she has daddy issues.”

I roll my eyes. “She picked the wrong daddy then.”

“Exactly, and she’ll see that and move on. Reed is awful. No way she doesn’t realize that.”

I don’t say anything because, for some reason, I’m afraid of my thoughts. Afraid of what the future looks like if some twenty-something is raising my son. Afraid of what a future looks like where everything is different. Isn’t that funny, the way your mind works? Even when things are bad, different sounds worse. My therapist told me it’s because our minds are wired for routine, and even chaos can become routine.

“It’s going to be okay.” Mabel leans forward and brushes her hand against my leg. “Forty is young, really. You’ve still got more than half your life ahead of you.”

“The worst half.”

“Hey!” Mabel shoves me again. “I’m a year older than you. Watch your mouth.”

“Sorry. You’re right. We’re young and—”

“No, we’re not young. We’re old enough to see the mistakes we’ve made and smart enough now to make better decisions. Also, let’s face it… we’re hotter.”

“Hotter?” I laugh. “Hotter than the twenty-something in the bikini top?”

“Yeah,” Mabel nods and shrugs her shoulders, “we’re hotter. And I don’t know about you, but I know what I want now. I didn’t know shit when I was in my twenties, and I spent my thirties so focused on helping my mom that I completely lost myself.” She sighs loudly. “It’s time for both of us to get back out there. By the way, how old is Atlas?”

“I’d guess in his early fifties.”

“By your own flawed logic, you’re that hot, young thing he’s into.”

“Right,” I laugh under my breath. “I’m basically a baby to him. Can’t wait until I’m in my fifties. What then? I date a seventy-year-old man to feel young again?”

“If you have to, or just be happy you made it that far and date whoever you damn well please. Don’t let your ex and this whole twenty-something thing get in your head.” Mabel glances at her phone. “We still have a bit before the girls show up. Should we pick an outfit for the wedding?”

“What are you wearing?” I ask as I lead her down the hall to my bedroom.

“Not sure yet. I don’t want to buy something new, so I think I’m going with the little pink dress I haven’t worn in a while. It’s cute, but I’m not sure it’s cute enough to get me laid, and I really need to get laid.”

I laugh. “You and me both. I could see if the handyman sex god has a brother.”

“Oh my God, that would be perfect,” she laughs. “All I think about is dick these days. I’m starting to think my forties are worse than my teenage years.”

“I think I’ve read something about how women in their forties have a higher sex drive than teenage boys.”

“I believe it. I masturbated like four times yesterday and I still couldn’t have a straight conversation with Mike.”

“That’s still happening?”

“Yeah,” her cheeks turn red as she speaks, “it’s bad. I don’t know how I could spend ten years working with a guy, be totally uninterested, then all the sudden need his hands like water.”

“He’s divorced, right?”

“Yeah, but he’s my boss. I can’t do that.” She pauses for a second before speaking again. “Oh! I have a pretty, rose A-line dress if you’re interested.”