Page 3 of Property of the Woodsman

She exhales heavily. “Why are you asking me more questions? Get out!”

“I want to get out, but now you look distressed.”

“Oh yeah?” she scoffs. “You would be too if your ex was posting pictures all over the internet with a woman half his age.” She turns toward me, brows narrowed. “I get it, he’s old, he wants attention, and these girls make him feel big and special, but… they don’t know him.” Her head starts shaking, and she’s back to pacing. “They don’t know who he really is. The truth is, he’s really just embarrassing himself. People must be laughing their asses off.”

“Sounds like you’re jealous.”

Her jaw drops open. “Jealous? What?” she huffs. “Why am I even talking to you? Get out!”

“No, hear me out. Maybe it would be good for you to post a few pictures too, do something unexpected that would let him see you’ve moved on.”

“That sounds like a game, and I don’t want to play games. And truthfully, I don’t care what he thinks. He’s an asshole.”

“The world is a game, lady. You either play, or you get played.”

She sighs and heads down the steps and into the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge. “What eighties movie did you dig that one up from?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, but it’s true. Everyone is playing games these days. That’s what social media is. Hell, maybe this guy isn’t even fucking this girl. Maybe he’s just posting pictures to make everyone think he is.”

“No, they’re for sure dating.” She takes a long sip of water and swishes the liquid into her cheeks before swallowing. “She’s been coming to my son’s football games, and this weekend I have the pleasure of spending two full days with them both at a wedding I should’ve bailed on.”

Son. I didn’t see that one coming.

“No, you can’t bail. You go, have a great time, and you show him that you’re happier without him. That’ll piss him off more than anything. Trust me, whatever he’s doing with this girl won’t match what you’ve got going on here.” I move my eyes over her frame slowly.

“Who’s flirting with who now?”

I laugh. “I’m telling you the truth. Ten out of ten he regrets leaving you. A grown man dating women that young is trying to fill something. Trust me, if he sees you having a good time alone, he’ll be thinking about you all night.”

“Or,” she says, eyes on me like daggers, “you come with me.”

“What?” I shake my head and bump into the countertop she bought with my father’s savings. “Why the hell would I do that? You stole from me, you’ve been smacking me with that ladle all night, and you’re living on my family’s property.”

She draws in a heavy breath. “You’re right. Get out!”

“Wait,” my jaw tightens, “okay. Let’s talk this out. What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “You… come to the wedding, we pretend we’re so in love, and you do anything and everything to make my ex insanely jealous and sorry for hurting me.”

My brow narrows inward. “And what’s in this for me?”

“I can’t give you the money back, I’ve already spent it, but… this property is huge. I don’t need the whole thing. If you do this, I’ll transfer the rights to half of it over to you.”

“You’re on the half I want.”

“Oh my God!” She paces back and forth and grabs the ladle again. “What am I doing? I’m negotiating with a criminal! Get out now!”

“Okay, okay.” I hold up my hand, and thankfully she stops with the ladle this time. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

She drags in a breath and lets it out slowly. “I need you to touch me the same way you did up in that bedroom, but with everyone watching.”

“You want me to manhandle you in front of your ex-husband?”

“Yes! I want it all. If you do that for me, I’ll sell you the west side of the property. It has great sunlight, and apparently, you and your sister picked berries by a creek there… or something.” Her gaze widens. “If you’re really good at this, I’ll even throw in the parcel with Grandma’s lilac bush, assuming you fix that drywall upstairs. I have my girlfriends coming over for a welcome party and I need the place looking great.”

One weekend. One weekend with a beautiful woman who wants me to manhandle her, and half the property is mine.

Call me stupid, but I’m having a hard time finding a reason to say no.