Page 8 of Feel Me

“I’m fine, Colt. I’d rather just walk over. I need time to get my thoughts in order.”

Colt steps closer to me and leans down to whisper in my ear. “I don’t want you alone right now, Livy.”

“I’m not going to fall apart. I’m stronger now. I just … I don’t really want to be around another man right now. I don’t really know Lake. I’ve never truly met him. I’d feel better by myself.” I try to be quiet, but I know Lake heard me because he’d already started walking toward me when Colt asked him to drive me. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I just told the truth. Yet, I do. It’s not Lake’s fault that I’m a mess. I suppose I could tell him the truth. Boy, would that be a conversation.

Hey, I know you’re probably a nice guy, but you remind me too much of the love of my life. You see my brother killed him and destroyed me. I’m one step away from a padded cell, and you just feel like the man who could push me inside and lock the door.

Yeah, that’s not a conversation I’m going to have with a man who can’t even stand to look at me. The guy hates me, and although I don’t know why—I don’t really care to either. With Lake, I’m thinking the less I know the better.

“I’ll take you. You’re safe with me,” Lake says, interrupting my spiraling thoughts.

I swallow down the urge to scream, “No way!” but Colt looks at me, pulling my hand into both of his. “I promise he is okay. I trust him with your safety.” Then, he steps back as Lake moves so that he’s all I can see. Lake’s eyes zero in on me and my breath stops in my chest. His eyes are exactly like Bear’s. How is that possible? Lake’s beard covers his face so I can’t see much of it, and it’s frustrating. I want to see if the cleft in Bear’s chin is there. I want to know if that tiny scar on his cheek, which he got when he fell in his gravel driveway as a child, is there. I want to see the ghost in my heart come to life before me—even though I know there’s no way.

I take a breath. Even I can hear how shaky it sounds. “That’s okay, I⁠—”

Before I can finish my denial, Lake bends down so that only I can hear him. “We don’t have to like each other to do what our employer asks. Don’t make a scene and try to make me look bad in front of them.”

His voice is as cold as ice. His face is stern. Nothing but his eyes are like Bear. I’m being stupid. The urge to say hell no is still there. Yet, he’s worried I’ll make him look bad in front of Carson and his brothers. I don’t want that. I may not know Lake, but I’ve heard how great Coop talks about him. Lake works directly under him and Colt. If Colt says I’m safe, I am. Finally, I just nod, unable to find my voice. I move toward Colt, and I can definitely see worry written all over his face. I lean up and kiss his cheek. “I’m fine. Stop worrying. I’ll go play with Claire.”

Colt smiles and bends slightly to kiss the top of my head. “I’ll check on you after my brothers and I take the trash out. Then, you and I should talk about how Ray’s approached you constantly the past month, and you just reported it today,” he adds.

Eek. Okay, so him getting into my space has become habitual, but he hasn’t pressured me that often. I can count four times when it felt like a problem. The other times Deb or someone was with me, and it didn’t feel as aggressive. Today was the worst, though. I didn’t lie about that. I give him a smile that I’m positive looks more like a grimace. Then I go to the UTV like an obedient little puppy.

Carson speaks up at once. “Since there are quite a few of you gathered around, let me make this announcement now. Olivia Davis is our family. She’s our sister as much as if she were blood-related. Anyone who makes her uncomfortable, insults her, or harms her in any way will be dealt with severely. If you can’t respect her, then you need to go find another job.”

Shit. That’s the last thing I wanted him to do. As Lake climbs in behind the wheel, I can feel anger radiating off him. Some might think that’s impossible, but after having a brother like Douglas and my past, anger becomes as physical as the blows to my body it used to cause.

Lake heads us back to the main ranch house. I sit stiffly, not sure what to say. The heaviness in the air is suffocating. I put my hands in front of me, gripping my legs hard. It’s a trick I learned long ago. It helps me focus, reminding me I’m here—that I’m not in the past, no matter how much my brain tries to drag me back. It seems it takes forever before we make it to the ranch house. The entire ride was in silence. I didn’t bother to break it. It seems safer to be quiet than to talk to him. I stay extremely quiet. I’m not even sure I breathe. I take a deep breath as the vehicle comes to a stop. It burns my lungs, but I’m too busy scrambling out of my seat.

“Jesus,” Lake mutters as he watches me stumble in my haste to get away from him.

“Ollie-girl!” Cross calls out.

I look up at once, and tears hit my eyes. I practically run to him. He wraps his arms around me and lifts me up. I hold on to him and let the tears I’ve been holding in fall.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?”

“I missed you,” I tell him through my tears.

Somewhere behind me, I hear the UTV start back up. I don’t look back. I just hold on to Cross. I don’t ever want to see Lake again.

He’s an asshole.

6

HOW MANY MEN CAN ONE WOMAN NEED?

LAKE

The damn UTV doesn’t even come to a stop before the crazy bitch is jumping out. She stumbles and I fully expect her to fall on the ground, face first. Somehow, she manages to prevent that just as a man shouts—only this one calls her Ollie-girl. He’s older than her, probably closer to my age and I’d bet even older. She runs into his arms as if he’s some kind of wartime hero. A tinge of jealousy hits me when I notice the absolute joy that moves over her face. She was beautiful before, but when she is filled with happiness like that, she’s beyond words.

That small fact pisses me off. Why in the fuck does she have to be so gorgeous?

I back up and whip the UTV around quickly, needing nothing more than to get far away from this woman. As I drive off, my gaze looks into the rearview mirror, equal parts of disgusted and jealous as I watch how she wraps her arms around him and leans into him in what can only be described as love.

I drive back to where the others are without really registering what I’m doing. I’m on autopilot. My head is a mess, and I just need to get this to my bosses and then slip away and try to get my head on right.

By the time I get back, the crowd has dispersed. Carson, Cooper, and Colt are the only ones left. I pull up next to them and get out, scratching my chin through my beard. “What happened to Ray?”