Page 44 of Anchored to the Storm

“I counted on Johnny,” he started to explain.

I put my head down. “I know.”

“But it’s you I’m counting on now. You’re ready to step up and handle it.”

My head lifted. My eyes widened. “I thought I was ready. Johnny asked me to… but…” I rubbed my chest as I realized— “What if… What if…” What is wrong with me?

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Huh? Suddenly feeling exposed and not liking it, I asked, “What wasn’t?”

Dale tightened his hold on my shoulders as if preparing to punch me with words. “The accident.”

Wham! That’s what the truth felt like to my stomach. A gut punch, reminding me that my failure had been right there all along. Ever since I got Caleb killed.

Dale quickly added, “Even if I were driving, that drunk would have caused me to⁠—”

I pushed him away from me, and he let me. “Enough.”

“Even if Harmony were driving, we would have lost Caleb⁠—”

“Enough!” I didn’t want to hear one more syllable about being the one responsible for such a loss.

“And no one holds you responsible⁠—”

“Dale!” I screamed. “Stop!”

“I love you, Finn.”

“Please!” I cried.

“I only love good people.” He pulled me into an embrace I needed, even though I fought it.

“You have to stop.”

He didn’t. “And you’re one of the best, Finn.”

I fell apart in his arms. Moments passed before I finally caught my breath. “I’m so sorry he’s gone.”

“I know.”

“I’m. So. Fucking. Sorry.”

He rocked me. “It was the drunk driver’s fault.” He whispered in my ear, “That’s why I’m not sorry the asshole is dead.”

My ears rang, and heat rushed to my cheeks. Slowly, not sure if I heard him correctly, I peered from his shoulder to read his expression. I gasped when I saw a wicked determination. A gratefulness that only a parent can understand.

I asked, “Are you serious?”

A curt nod. “Beat to death.”

Somewhat scared of the answer, I whispered, “Was it you?”

Dale jerked. “Oh! No. Not at all.” Then he stared at me with that encrypted stare of his.

Comprehending his meaning, I gawked. Then mouthed, “Johnny?”

I suddenly remembered Sarah, in the car the night Blue died. She sneered. “You cross lines in your sleep.” She declared, “I’ve held your hand while you check off your ‘revenge list’.”