Page 78 of Road to Absolution

In front of a closed door, he stopped. “This one is yours. Even when you move back to your house. You have a baby on the way. That gets members bigger rooms, too.” He studied me then said, “One minute at a time. Try just taking everything in, one minute at a time.” He brought his open thumbs and pointer fingers together to make a small circle. “This small space is much easier to tend to versus,” he held his arms wide, “this. Make sense? Let the little things be enough for right now. Worry about the rest later.” After a pat on my shoulder, he started walking away.

“Thank you.”

Right before turning a corner, he replied, “No problem, Pup. Enjoy some time with your wife.”

Deep inhale…

I opened the door. Focus on the little things. One minute at a time.

Then grabbed my chest. All of our bedroom furniture, from home, was now inside this room. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The bed, dressers, bassinet, the changing table, and the rocking chair that I had bought Lilah. Even the nightstands, one of which was holding the flowers Knuckles bought her.

They must have switched out our stuff the next day. Those flowers were on a different nightstand in the pic Tuck sent me.

The emotions that rushed through me were incredible and so welcome, versus all the jumbled nerves I had been dealing with. These items were familiar. Finally, something was near me that didn’t feel cold. Distant. These items were bought with love and honest intentions.

Exhale…

Memories of joyous times and smiles blew through me.

Focus small. One minute at a time.

In one section, all the way to the left of the nice-sized room, was all the baby stuff, including her little dresser and certain items that had been in our nursery.

To my right was a built-in vanity outside a bathroom. I smiled seeing Lilah’s girlie things, like makeup, all placed in her holders that had been in our master bathroom at home.

Directly in front of me, about twenty feet or so from the door, was a small kitchenette. It was white, but I recognized Lilah’s utensils in a canister on the counter.

Little things… One minute at a time…

To the slight left of the kitchen was our bed. In the middle of our bed and new comforter, was my wife, snuggled on her side in pillows. Safe. Sound.

My heart melted. Lilah…

To not wake her, I set my bag down on the floor and kicked off my sneakers. Quietly, I made it to my side of the bed, the one closest to the door. Barely moving, I lifted the blanket and tried to sneak in, but she jerked and spun, awkwardly, with that beautiful full belly.

“It’s me. It’s me.”

Her mouth parted. “Maverick.”

Not able to take my eyes off her, I slipped under the covers.

She stared at me. “You’re here?”

I nodded. “Anything for you.”

She swayed. “You’re here.”

I took her in my arms and laid us down. “Crazy love.”

Her lips kissed mine, so unbreakable, I could feel her tremble of gratitude.

Our heads resting on soft pillows and staring at each other, so many things were being said without words. I could see fear in her eyes, so I tried to smile. Soft fingers brushed my lips.

Softly, she asked, “You okay, baby?”

I sighed, “Damn, you know me so well.

With a heartfelt nod, she whispered, “I’m scared, too.”