Page 34 of Carnal Risk

A memory of being rushed to hospital flashed in her mind. It wasn’t the first time, it wouldn’t be the last. It had been a gorgeous day. She’d gone on a hike, traveled several hundred feet upward before she’d realized heights were a trigger. The sight of Los Angeles had been spectacular until she’d gone to walk back down. I’ll fall. I’m up so high. I can’t move. Paralyzed, she’d cowered to the ground. The pain in her chest wouldn’t cease. She knew it was another panic attack, but was at a loss as to how to control it. Garrett’s soothing voice brought her back into the moment.

“I see you. Maybe better than you see yourself. You’re beautiful.” His hands never left her body as they grazed over her arms onto her shoulders, then trailed down her back until they rested on the sides of her thighs.

“I’m scared. I can’t do this.” Selby shook her head.

“But you wanted to do this for me, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” she admitted.

“Why, Selby?”

“Are you trying to distract me?”

“Maybe, but the thing is, I want to get to know you. I want more than just working with you.”

“But you hardly talked to me in the office this week. Ever since the beach…” He hadn’t looked at her with the slightest interest.

“By asking you here tonight, I’ve given you more access to my life than ninety-nine percent of the people in my life. This is who I am…if you want to be with,” he hesitated, “if you want to be with me, then there are certain things you’ll have to accept. Lars…”

“He’s so mad at me.” Selby tried to turn her head to face him, but his hands held her thighs still.

“Lars is pissed at me, not you.”

“He says you’re going to hurt me. Are you?” she asked. “Are you going to hurt me, Garrett?”

“Never.” His lips brushed her hair. “But I will push your limits of what you think you’re capable of doing. You’re brilliant. Even though you hold onto these fears so tightly, I know you can embrace what we do.”

“I don’t know if I can. Lars says I don’t belong here. That I’ll never be right for you. But when I’m around you…” she whispered, “you make me feel…alive.”

“I want to fuck you right here. Will you let me do that?”

“What? Garrett…” Selby laughed. Jesus almighty. She couldn’t believe that she was three stories up, overlooking the pool and that her first instinct was to say ‘yes’ to public sex. Before she had a chance to answer further, his hands slipped underneath her dress. She gasped as his palms glided up her belly and cupped her bare breasts.

“No bra?”

“No, I…”

“Have you fantasized about my hands on you?”

“I can’t tell you that…”

“You have, haven’t you? Tell me.” His hand trailed down her abdomen, slipping into her panties.

“Please…I can’t…” Selby moaned as Garrett’s fingers pressed through her wet lips. He plunged a thick digit into her core, and she cried out. She’d yearned to have him touch her, had imagined it a million different ways, but never had she thought he’d take her at the party.

“I was right…look at how wet you are, my brave girl. You know what I think, Selby?” His lips moved to her neck.

“Oh God,” she cried as he pumped another finger inside her.

“I think you crave this…like a seedling waiting for the sun, you’re going to bloom.”

Selby clutched the rail. His warm breath teased her ear and she shook her head, wishing she could deny his words. But as his thumb flicked at her clit, any ability to lie failed her.

“I want you so much,” she breathed.

“That’s better,” he encouraged.

“We shouldn’t,” she panted.