Page 63 of Raging Fires

“Well, that and desperation. Eric dropping me kinda scared me straight.”

“Sounds like she’s had a big impact on you, though. Did you two ever… never mind.” As Kelli shook her head, Jake couldn’t help but smile. It was always a little nice to see her get jealous.

“We never dated or anything else. I was trying not to screw things up at that point, and anyway, she’s not really my type.”

“I’m glad. Not that you didn’t date.” Kelli blushed. God, she was adorable when she was flustered. “I’m glad that she was there for you. I hated that I hurt you. And… fair’s fair, Jake—it wasn’t all your fault. Maybe I would have handled it better if I’d been older, more experienced. Maybe I’d have been able to help you more if I hadn’t been so miserable.”

“Miserable because I was an asshole.”

“No. Well, I mean, yes, you were. But it wasn’t only that. My whole life had changed. I didn’t know anybody except you, and you were gone so much—not just the partying, but the way football totally consumes your life half the year. I didn’t have anything to do; I couldn’t get a job. The wife of a millionaire can’t be a waitress or bartender or anything I knew how to do. And I didn’t have the education or the experience to get a fancy job that the other football wives wouldn’t look down on. Which meant I didn’t have any money.”

“What are you talking about?” Jake’s eyebrows shot up. “There was tons of money in our bank account.”

“Yeah, but that was really yours.”

“We were married, Kell.” Jake said, his expression perplexed. “It was yours too.”

“Yes, I knew that. But I didn’t earn it; you did. It wasn’t a salary. I can’t explain it; it just made me feel insecure, like I didn’t have anything of my own. All those clothes and the jewelry that cost so much that I was scared to wear it for fear I’d lose it. I didn’t even have my car.”

“You were unhappy because you had a Mercedes instead of that pile of scrap metal?” Jake’s voice vaulted up.

She rolled her eyes. “No. It wasn’t really that. But nothing felt like it was mine. It was like it could all be taken away from me in a second. I don’t know, my whole life in Miami somehow felt temporary. I didn’t really feel like me inside the fancy house or the fancy car. It was as if all the time I was pretending to be something I wasn’t. But the worst part was feeling… alone. I didn’t have friends or family or anyone besides you, and you were hardly there. I started feeling like my closest confidants were characters in shows on Netflix.”

“What about the other wives?”

“Oh, some of them seemed nice, but…” She shrugged one shoulder. “I wasn’t interested in the same things, I guess. And I was always afraid I’d say something dumb or that they thought I was stupid because I hadn’t gone to college..”

“You’re just as smart as any of them. Smarter than a lot. You’re friends with Stephanie Moran, and she’s a writer. I mean, she knows all kinds of stuff.”

“She’s different. She doesn’t care about status. But mostly I’m different now. I’ve done things, accomplished things. I’ve been pretty much running this business alone for a year. I’m my own person now, not just an accessory of Jake Riley.”

Jake frowned. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way.”

“You didn’t make me. I just felt that way.”

He looked at her and then away. He let out a sigh. “We have a lot of baggage.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re right—we can never be just friends. But we’re attracted to each other, so we’ll never be just roomies, either.”

“No, I guess not,” Kelli agreed. Jake felt some gratification that Kelli’s eyes were sad as she went on, “So… what are we going to do? You think we can persuade Gran that Pops’ scheme’s not going to work? Get her to let us out of it?”

“Actually, I had something else in mind.”

“What’s that?” Kelli narrowed her eyes like she thought he was up to something. She’d always been sharp that way.

“We could start all over.”

Chapter Thirty

Kelli just stared at Jake for a moment. His words were so different from what she thought he was about to say that it took her a bit to process his words. “Start all over again? What do you mean? Start from before last night?”

“I mean from the beginning. I’ve changed, Kell. I’ve not the same irresponsible, egotistical guy I was back then. When you hit bottom, you have to change or just give up. And you know I don’t give up.”

“Yeah. I know.” Kelli nodded. It was because of his dogged persistence that at first she had nursed a little hope that he might come after her when she left him. It had taken her almost a month to let go of the dream of him showing up and telling her that he wanted her more than all that other stuff.

“I’m different. I’ve faced the truth about myself. About football. You. I don’t have the same expectations. I’m responsible now. Steady. I do what I say I’m going to.” His lips quirked up on one side in that teasing way that made her want to kiss him. “I’m even on time. Mostly.”