Page 100 of Raging Fires

“I’m sorry. I thought he wasn’t doing that kind of thing anymore.”

“No, he’s not partying now,” Kelli said hastily. “I didn’t mean that. Those were Miami examples. He’s worked really hard at being reliable for the Pumas. He’s followed all the team rules and practiced and studied the playbook.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Stephanie smiled and held up a hand. “I’m not the Puma behavior police. You don’t have to convince me.”

“I know. I just didn’t want you to think that he was backsliding. Because he hasn’t been, and I don’t want you think anything bad about him. And it hasn’t been only his career. He’s been better about…oh, about everything, I guess.” Kelli continued, “He hasn’t been dropping his clothes on the floor or leaving the toilet seat up.”

“There you go—that’s real progress.” Stephanie grinned at her.

“That’s why I thought I could believe him.” Kelli sighed. “Until he broke his promise. And I can’t live like that again. I don’t want to get into that pattern—arguing and excuses and disappointments. It’s painful and chaotic.”

“No, of course you don’t want to live like that. It is a big deal because it meant a lot to you. You have to stand up for yourself, and Jake has to correct his mistakes, understand his priorities or whatever. But all couples argue sometimes. Neil gets mad or I get mad, and off we go.”

“Really?” Kelli sounded so astonished that Stephanie laughed.

“Yes, really. Trust me, Neil Moran is not perfect. No matter what his mom claims. We don’t fight all the time, but you can’t put two people together without some disagreements flaring up. I even broke up with him once.”

“Really? Sorry, I sound like a parrot. It’s just, you all are so happy, it seems kind of crazy.”

“Well, we did. But we figured it out in the end.”

Kelli tried to calm the little leap of hope that had formed in her chest. “But even if I wanted him back, I don't think Jake would do it. He was so mad at me. I said something to him that I didn’t mean, but you can’t take something like that back. I told him I wanted him to be different. And I didn’t. I don’t. I mean, not a different person. He was so bitter and cold after that, and… he told me we could never work out.”

“Have you talked to him? Are you sure that’s what he feels?” Stephanie asked. “I don’t know about Jake, but Neil is good at hiding things—they do that so much, you know, pretending that they’re not hurt to the coaches, pumping up the other guys even when they feel defeated, being calm and analytical when they talk to reporters about a game they lost even though inside they’d like to rip that microphone out of their hands and stomp on it.”

“Yeah.” Kelli shrugged. “But Jake’s not real reticent about telling you what he thinks.”

“Well, there’s no way of knowing unless you try.” Stephanie paused. “I don’t know whether you and Jake should be together. But, listening to you, there are a couple of things that stood out to me: One is how much you didn’t want me to think anything bad about Jake. Like you still love him.”

“I do still love him,” Kelli agreed miserably. “That’s why it’s so awful. I want to be with him. But I know it’s co-dependent enabling behavior to excuse him or say something’s my fault when it isn’t. And I shouldn’t.”

“I don’t think you’re doing that. You were pretty clear about what he did and how you felt about it. But a lot of what you just told me was about not trusting your mother and the things she did rather than issues about Jake. Are you sure you aren’t equating Jake’s actions with your mother’s a little too closely? Has Jake really let you down time after time after time like your mother?”

“Actually, before we moved to Miami…no. That was why I let myself count on him back then.”

“Do you really not count on him now? I mean, when you had car trouble before your wedding and you needed help, who did you call?”

Kelli stared at her for a moment, then whispered, “Jake. It’s always Jake.”

Chapter Forty-Two

Jake surveyed the large room, where only a smattering of people remained. It was easy to see that Kelli wasn’t there. He swallowed his disappointment. Today when they took the field, he had glanced around the stands, but he wasn’t sure where the wives sat, and he didn’t want to search the bleachers like a high school player looking for his girlfriend. Besides, there was something in him—Asa would doubtless call it the coward—that didn’t really want to know.

Probably for the same reason, he had lingered in the locker room for a while. Then he’d been sent to the media room, which surprised him a little. It was the first time in a long time that the press had thought he was worth interviewing. Of course, the stories they’d write would include his past failure, but no way to get around that.

So he was later than most the players to the family room. Which was good—fewer people to see that his new wife hadn’t bothered to watch his first home game. He hitched his duffel bag higher on his shoulder and started toward the exit. No reason Kelli would be here. They hadn’t had any contact for almost four weeks. Still, the knowledge added to the heavy lump in his chest than had been there ever since he’d talked to Gran yesterday.

Other people were leaving, and he was stopped and introduced to wives a few times. Jalyn’s wife Mel had brought two kids that looked like miniature Jalyns, and Jake went over to exchange high fives with them. The room had mostly cleared by then, and he walked out with the Williams family. They turned to the right to go to their car, and Jake turned left.

And there she was.

Kelli leaned against the side of his SUV, looking like a million dollars. She had come to his game. Jake stopped, everything in him suddenly twisting and turning. Kelli levered herself off the car and started toward him. She wasn’t smiling. In fact, she looked sort of the way he felt inside.

Jake recovered enough sense to start walking again. He wanted to run and grab her up in his arms like they did in movies. But her being here didn’t mean she wanted that. It didn’t mean she was back. Maybe Gran had talked to her too, and she was here to drop the hammer on him.

They stopped a few feet apart. “You saw the game?” Okay, that was a lame beginning.

She nodded, looking a little relieved. Apparently she was happy to grab onto something easy to talk about, too. “Yeah, you looked really good. The game was great.” She paused. “I came with Stephanie. We figured you could give me a ride home.” This last was said in a faintly questioning tone.