Page 73 of Cutter’s Lady

“You don’t know Purcell very well if you think it’s safe. Hell, I could have dropped dead from food poisoning any minute.”

A watery smile escaped Leslie. “Can’t you ever be serious?”

“Apparently not. It’s one of the things you dislike most about me, remember?”

“I don’t dislike anything about you,” Leslie answered honestly.

Cutter raised his eyebrows. “You could have fooled me.” He sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall.

Leslie looked at him. She felt even more miserable than she did afraid. What an idiot she’d been! Turning away from Cutter like that, denying them what they both wanted, just because she was too big a coward to face the consequences. And now here they were, about to die, no time left for anything—and she had thrown away the happiness they could have had in the last few days of their lives. She was filled with bitter regret.

She shook her head sadly. “It’s true. I don’t dislike you. I guess I never did. You just scared me because I knew I would be so vulnerable with you.”

She could see it all now. It had been easy to be in love with Michael. She’d been married and wanted out and Michael hadn’t returned her feelings. She’d let herself believe that she didn’t know that Michael didn’t love her until after her divorce, but perhaps she’d known it all along. Maybe that was why she’d let herself fall for him. Nothing could ever really happen with Michael and, therefore, he was no threat to her. Leslie had never risked anything being with Blake either. But everything about Cutter was a risk. Not the least of which was the very depth of her feeling for him.

He frowned. “Vulnerable? What do you mean?”

She looked straight at him, her wide, dark eyes filled with sadness and love. It was too late now, but she wanted him to know. She had to let him know what he had meant to her, how much she cared. “I love you.”

For a long moment he simply looked at her, and Leslie’s stomach began to knot.

Finally he spoke, his voice soft, “You what?” A dangerous gleam started in his eyes. “You love me?”

Leslie nodded mutely. Slowly Cutter rose and started toward her, each step slow and measured and somehow menacing. “Do you mean to tell me that you’ve tortured me for the past five days—and all that time you were in love with me?”

“Tortured you!” Leslie repeated, flabbergasted.

“Yes, tortured me! What do you think I am, the Great Iron Man? No feelings? No desires? Being with you was the best thing that ever happened to me. We were in a terrible situation, yet it was the best time in my life. Every minute with you was… beautiful. I love you. And then you cut it off, just like that. ‘It was just a physical thing,’” he mimicked savagely. “Nothing special. You expected me to turn it off, forget about what we had. You insisted that I be around you all day, see you, smell you, hear you but not even touch you. Never expect to have anything with you again. That isn’t torture?”

Leslie felt as if she’d had the wind knocked out of her. She tried to collect her stunned thoughts. “You love me?”

“Yes, I love you!” he roared. “You have to know that!”

“I didn’t! How could I? You never said—”

“What the hell did you think that was on the trip back to the mission?”

“I thought it was just physical. I thought it was just sex to you, that I was simply one more woman in a long string of them.”

“Where did you get such an insane idea? My God, Leslie, there are times when I’d like to strangle you!”

Leslie couldn’t suppress her smile. “Now, how could I doubt that you loved me?”

Cutter made a growling noise deep in his throat and reached out to haul her to her feet. He pulled her hard against him and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her so tightly she could hardly breathe. He rained kisses over her soft, dark hair. “You are the damnedest, most exasperating woman I’ve ever met.” He nuzzled her ear. “And I love you. I love you so much.” He tilted up her face and kissed her deeply, leaving them both flushed and breathless. “I’ll get us out of here somehow. I promise.”

“I love you.” Leslie gazed up at him, her eyes luminous and filled with adoration. “I’ve been such an idiot.”

“Don’t talk about it.” He effectively silenced her with a kiss. He sank down onto the bed, pulling her with him, and the old mattress sagged beneath their weight.

Cutter’s head came up and he released her. He swung off the bed and knelt on the floor, peering under the bed frame.

Leslie watched him wonderingly. “What are you doing?”

Cutter made a triumphant noise. “We’re in luck. This bed has ropes instead of bedsprings.”

“What?”

“Hop up.” Leslie got off the bed, and Cutter dumped the mattress on the floor. Leslie gazed down at the bed frame.