Page 70 of A Winter Scandal

Thea decided it was best not to tell him that she thought he had largely been talking about the inconvenience she had caused him as vicar, so she simply smiled and said, “You need not worry. I am quite aware of the morals of highborn men, and I have no doubt that many of them do not deserve to be known as gentlemen. However, I can assure you that Lord Rawdon has no designs upon my virtue. I scarcely know the man.”

“Yet you invited him to Christmas dinner.”

“I felt … sorry for him.”

“Sorry?” Daniel goggled at her.

“He is alone. And, however much a villain Morecombe thinks him, no one deserves to be alone on Christmas.”

“A villain?” If possible, Daniel looked even more distressed. “Really, Thea, I don’t understand.” He waved his hand hastily when she started to speak. “But that is not really the issue. It is this time you spent with Lord Morecombe that worries me.”

“Lord Morecombe expressed an appropriate concern for my reputation,” Thea told Daniel primly.

“That’s all very well and good, but his concern will not shield you from gossip. Thea …” Daniel lowered his voice. “What if everyone knew that you were not here last night? That you spent the night in his company? I am sure nothing happened, of course, but your reputation would be ruined, anyway.”

Thea suspected that Daniel’s certainty regarding her virtue had more to do with the belief that Lord Morecombe would be uninterested in seducing her than in any staunch conviction regarding Thea’s morals, but she said only, “That would happen only if word got out that I was not here last night. I have no intention of telling anyone, and I am sure that Lord Morecombe will not speak of it, either, so unless you plan to go about spreading the news …”

“No, of course not! But what about Lolly? And Mrs. Brewster? I told her you were ill and not to disturb you, but she gave me a decidedly odd look, and I know she suspected something. Unless I miss my guess, she went up to check on you, anyway.”

“She probably did. But I do not believe Mrs. Brewster would say anything that would hurt me. And Lolly is too afraid of losing her job over the baby’s disappearance to add to that by spreading gossip. I shall make sure she knows it.”

Daniel frowned. “And that is decidedly odd, too, Thea. Why would anyone come here and steal a foundling?”

“I don’t know. But Gabriel said he would send a servant over to stand guard so that it cannot happen again.”

“We are to have another stranger living in the house now?” Daniel heaved a sigh, then held up his hands. “No. I don’t even want to know. I am going to my study. I haven’t had a moment’s peace all day.”

He trudged off. Thea watched him go, then turned and went to lock both the front door and the one into the kitchen. It took some time to find the kitchen key; she could not remember the last time it had been locked. The footman arrived from the Priory, looking cold but quietly determined. His name was Peter, and he was, he assured her, a good shot, having grown up as the son of a gamekeeper. He did not seem unhappy at the thought of putting down a blanket and sleeping on the floor at the top of the stairs, which was apparently what Gabriel had instructed him to do.

“His lordship’s a generous man; he’s doubling me wages,” he confided to her in a boyish manner. “More interesting than serving food and polishing silver, anyway.”

“Very well. My chamber is the first one after the stairs. Come and wake me if you encounter any trouble.”

Thea went up to her room finally, grateful to wash and change out of the clothing she had worn far too long. Lolly brought both the baby and bed to Thea’s bedroom, as Thea had instructed. Thea locked the door after the girl left. Matthew was already rubbing his face and tugging at his hair, and he was asleep before she blew out the candle.

She went to the window and parted the drapes, gazing out into the night. The snow cast back an almost bluish light under the glow of the moon. Thea looked past the trees to the church. Beyond it somewhere lay the Priory. She wondered what Gabriel was doing now and whether he thought of her.

It would not be the same for him, of course. The things she felt—the wonder, the pleasure, the aching sense of loss at his absence. It was not his first time; he was doubtless well accustomed to the pleasures that were so new for her. Anyway, she had always heard that it was different for men. They could feel desire and lust for a woman without any sort of affection. She was not fool enough to think that Gabriel loved her—not, of course, that she loved him, either. She did not.

Did she?

Thea moved restlessly away from the window, letting the draperies fall back together. She did not love Gabriel. She could not. It was absurd. She had known him only weeks, after all, and even though he was a far better man than she had first thought, even though he was charming and handsome and the three of them had seemed almost like a family back there at the kidnapper’s cottage, none of that meant that she loved him. She did not.

Did she?

Thea awakened to the pealing of the church bells. She smiled as she lay there, her heart rising within her. The unease she had experienced the evening before was gone in the pale golden light of Christmas morning. Raising up on one elbow, she glanced over the side of her bed. Matthew was awake in his basket, all covers kicked off, babbling to himself as he played with his toes.

She slipped out of bed and opened the draperies and stood for a long moment, admiring the way the sun sparkled on the snow. Humming, she went to the dresser and pulled out a brown wool round gown. If she handed Matthew over to Lolly to feed and dress, she might be able to tack on the blond lace she had bought at the haberdashery in Bynford last week, which would make the gown look much more festive.

Thea left for the Christmas service an hour later, well pleased with her efforts. The color of the dress was still dull, but the bits of lace at the high collar and cuffs softened it nicely. She had not put her hair in its usual braided crown, but had pinned it up in a cascade of curls at the crown of her head, leaving the shorter curls in front to feather around her face.

A defiant imp inside her was tempted to take the baby to church, but after a brief struggle, her more reasonable nature won out. Matthew had already been exposed to a great deal of poor weather, and she was lucky that he had not fallen ill. It seemed to be tempting fate to drag him out in the cold again, just to show that she did not care about the village gossip. So, leaving him in the warm kitchen under the watchful eye of Lolly and Mrs. Brewster, as well as that of Peter, she donned her cloak and bonnet and sallied forth to join the other worshippers.

Thea felt rather proud of her brother, who had not only written a good sermon, but also delivered the words he had written with more feeling, she thought, than was his wont. Apparently Daniel was of the same opinion, for he was in a merry mood after church. He set himself to his traditional task of preparing the wassail bowl while Thea helped Mrs. Brewster and Lolly in the kitchen.

Sometime later, a knock sounded at the front door, and Thea opened it to find Damaris standing on the front stoop with Lord Rawdon. Her face must have registered her surprise, for Damaris smiled and offered an explanation: “Lord Rawdon and I met as I was coming up High Street. Imagine our surprise when we discovered we had the same goal in mind.”

Damaris’s large blue eyes were sparkling, and Thea wondered whether it was from amusement or irritation. As she remembered, Lord Rawdon had been rather rude to Damaris when they had met the other day. Of course, he had been rather rude to everyone, Thea reflected. She hoped she had not made a mistake in inviting him.