Page 75 of A Momentary Marriage

Laura stayed, certainly enough, but things were not the same. She had apparently acquired a whole new wardrobe of alluring dresses, and she favored softer, fuller hairstyles that looked as if they might tumble down at a touch. And he wanted very much to touch them.

But it was more than lower necklines and beckoning curls. It was the way she would lean forward over the table, giving him a clear view down the front of her dress, or climb the ladder to search for a book on a high shelf when he was in the library, or stand close to him as she talked, looking up into his eyes.

Her goal, he decided, was to break him. She was testing his control, punishing him for breaking his promise. It surprised him that Laura was capable of this cruelty. Perversely, the fact that she did it to tease and torment him only made him want her more. Equally twisted, he chose to endure it. Foul as his temper was, he did not remove himself from her presence. Indeed, he sought her out. It was worse not to see her.

Every night he waged an internal battle, pacing around his room, and thinking of going to her door and . . . what? Seduce her? Grab her and kiss her, as he had before? Prove once more that his lust for her was greater than his honor?

He was beginning to think his mother was as wrong about this as she usually was about money. Laura seemed entirely unaffected by his display of patience and control. And, really, Laura had never shown the slightest inclination to be intimidated by him. Why would she suddenly have become shy and wary? But if Tessa was wrong, if this didn’t work, then it meant that Laura was simply uninterested. And what was he to do then?

Finally, after a torturous week of her campaign, James walked into his room to find Laura sitting in the chair by the window, waiting for him. She was wearing a blue dressing gown, the ruffled neckline of a white cotton gown peeping between the open V at the top. Her hair hung in a long, thick braid that he ached to wrap around his arm.

Lust surged in him. His tongue cleaved to the roof of his mouth. Finally he managed to get out a strangled, “Laura.”

“James.” She stood, her face pale but set. He was suddenly afraid again that she was leaving him, and he felt even more certain of it when she went on, “I want to talk to you.”

“Very well.” He was a trifle amazed that his voice came out as steady as it did.

“When you proposed our . . . arrangement, you compared it to a business agreement, a contract of sorts.”

James stuck his hands into his pockets so she wouldn’t see them clench. “What is it you want?”

“I want to amend our contract.” She lifted her chin, looking almost defiantly into his eyes. “I want a complete marriage.”

chapter 30

“I beg your pardon?” His voice came out a croak. Laura could not mean what James thought she did.

She made a little moue of exasperation. “You heard me. Please, if you have any gratitude, any friendship, do not make this more difficult for me.”

“I have no desire to upset you, I assure you.” He held himself rigidly, stifling his willful, idiotic hope. “Just say it, Laura, and be done with it.”

“Very well.” She drew a breath. “I have no desire to spend the rest of my life in some kind of marital limbo. Neither one thing nor another. Lady de Vere but not your wife.”

“You are both.”

“No, not really. I realize that I am not the wife you would have chosen had you not been in a desperate situation.”

“Nor would you have taken me.”

“No,” Laura admitted. “Probably not. But those people, those lives, are not a possibility. All we can deal with is what we have. Don’t worry, I am not asking you for love. But I would like to”—pink started along her cheeks—“to have what other married women have. I don’t want to grow old, knowing I’ve missed out on . . . well, on so many things.”

James clamped down on another stab of desire, waiting for whatever hook would come at the end of her statement.

Laura went on, not looking at him, “I know you must think me terribly bold, but I have been trying and trying to entice you, but it hasn’t worked. So I realized that I must just ask you. I wouldn’t do so if I did not think that you—the other day you seemed to feel some desire for me.” She lifted her head, setting her chin.

“Some desire.” He let out a little huff of a laugh. “You might say so.”

A hope he’d hardly dared to consider was now careening around inside him, and even as he tried to hold it down, he could feel the expectation, the hunger, bubbling up in him. James moved toward her, his steps slow and controlled. His eyes traveled over her face, taking in the delectable flush on her cheeks, the mingling of anticipation and uncertainty in her blue eyes. Her beauty made it hard to breathe.

“And what about you?” he asked, his voice low and husky. “The other day, did you feel some desire?”

Her blush deepened rosily, and now she could not meet his eyes. “Yes, of course. I hope you don’t think I go about kissing just any man that way.”

“I’m glad of that.” He crooked his finger under her chin, tilting her face up so that she gazed into his eyes. “But I gave you little choice, as I remember.”

“I didn’t notice.”

His gut tightened at her words, at the soft, almost dreamy expression on her face. He stroked his finger lightly down her throat. His blood was roaring in his ears. “I wouldn’t hurt you for the world.”