Page 63 of A Momentary Marriage

James hesitated, then sank onto the stool in front of her vanity. Laura came up behind him and slid her fingers into his hair. She glanced in the mirror before them. James was watching her reflection, and he quickly looked away. Laura began to massage his temples. He closed his eyes, hiding their silver gleam. Laura felt his body relax, leaning back into her. His head was heavy against her stomach.

Anticipation coiled low in her body, a breathless sense of waiting. She thought of sliding her fingers over his neck and across his shoulders, down onto his chest. It was wicked of her, for he had amply demonstrated yesterday that he wanted nothing like that from her.

Then why had he kissed her? Why, in his delirium, had he caressed her and fitted his mouth to hers, his fingers seeking her breasts, his tongue hot and eager in her mouth? Even though she was inexperienced, Laura couldn’t believe his actions had not meant that he was as hungry for her as she was for him.

It was pointless to deny her own passion. However wanton that made her, Laura wanted him. She wanted to be married to him in this most intimate way, to feel his heat and desire. Laura gazed at her reflection again. Her face was loose and soft, her eyes lambent. If James opened his eyes and saw her this way, he would know how she felt. It would be horridly embarrassing. She had to stop thinking this way. Feeling this way.

Suddenly James surged to his feet, taking a long step away from her. He dragged his hands through his hair, pulling it into some sort of order, and it seemed to Laura that he was trying to sweep away the touch of her hands. Had he sensed her thoughts? Her emotions?

She turned away, humiliation roiling in her. However much it might appear that James desired her, it was equally clear that he wished he did not. “I’ll ring for Owen to help you.” She yanked at the bell pull. “Since it’s clear you don’t want mine.”

“Laura, no . . .” He took a half step toward her. “I didn’t mean . . .”

“What nonsense. Of course you did. You seem to have acquired some notion that I am about to impose myself on you. Well, let me reassure you—the fact that I helped you when you were ill does not mean I want anything more from this marriage than we bargained for. I don’t.” She gave a sharp nod for emphasis. “Now. I am going for a walk and leaving you to yourself, since that is obviously the company you prefer.”

Without waiting for a response, Laura whirled and stalked out the door.

chapter 26

Unsurprisingly, James attacked getting well as if it were a business. Laura watched him go through each day, methodical and persistent, taking the drafts she gave him and downing the food laid before him. He even forced himself to rest.

He was equally intent on rebuilding his strength. The first few days he limited himself to trips up and down the stairs and along the hallways, but he soon began to venture farther—to the terrace, then the gardens, increasing the distance with each trip. Sometimes he had to sit and rest on a bench before starting back to the house, but he doggedly kept at it.

At least the weariness made him sleep. Laura wished she could say the same for herself. She told herself she tossed and turned because the cot on which she lay was uncomfortable, but when they disposed of the mercury beneath James’s bed and he returned to his own room, she found sleep even more elusive.

James, of course, was not bothered at all. He was smoothly polite, giving Laura his arm as courtesy demanded, but never touching her in any other way. He spent little time with her except at meals and in the evening, when they were surrounded by his family.

At first Laura reacted to his new aloofness by withdrawing into an equally stiff silence. It was not long, however, before she realized that this path led only to permanent separation. She could not bear to lose James entirely, as she had lost Graeme.

If their relationship could not be all she wanted, she could at least regain what they had had before. She forced herself back into her former amiable, light attitude, and James’s manner began to relax.

Laura knew the evenings spent in conversation with the others in the household were deadly dull for James—after all, they were equally boring for her—so she strove to enliven the gatherings. Sometimes she played the piano and Tessa sang along with her, which had the advantage of making it difficult for all of them to snipe at each other.

She suspected from the twinkle in his eyes that James guessed her reasons for the musicales, but it served its purpose. Laura knew he liked to hear her play, and though he refused to join in their singing—unlike Walter, who surprisingly turned out to bask in the attention—it warmed her to see James happy amidst his family. Well, happy might be too strong a word, but at least comfortable.

However, the music gave her little opportunity to be with James, so she frequently suggested a game instead. She feared at first that he would not join in, for he was bound to be annoyed by the play of most of the others, but to her surprise, James readily agreed whenever she suggested it.

It turned out that their most frequent companions at the game table were Adelaide and Patricia. It was not an ideal arrangement, as Adelaide was a foolish player and Patricia a terrible loser, but at least Adelaide’s saccharine conversation usually suppressed some of Patricia’s sniping.

After a few evenings spent playing cribbage, however, Adelaide protested, “No, not that game again, please!” She turned large soulful eyes on Laura. “I can never keep up when James is playing. The pegs are moving so fast, and everyone’s saying all those numbers.”

“Whist, then?” Laura asked, glancing at James and his sister.

Adelaide nodded enthusiastically, James shrugged, and Patricia said sourly, “It doesn’t matter. James will win whatever we play.”

“You could partner with James,” Laura offered, suppressing a grin at the look of alarm on her husband’s face.

“Goodness, no, that’s even worse. Then James is sitting there the whole time, judging my poor play.”

“Is he?” Laura sent him a teasing glance. “I suppose I should worry, then.”

“Not you.” Patricia’s lips thinned. “He thinks you’re perfect.”

Laura chuckled. “Hardly.”

“Laura remembers which suit is trump,” James told his sister with a pointed look. “Which makes it vastly easier to play with her.”

“Claude’s the same way,” Adelaide put in, smoothing the waters as she often did. “He knows every card that’s been played. He thinks I’m dreadfully silly.” She seemed more pleased than not at this evaluation. “He prefers the play at the tavern in the village. That’s why he took Walter and Archie there this evening.”