Page 82 of Down and Dirty

“No, you don’t smell. At least not all the time,” he told him, then turned to Bridget. “Thanks, that was really nice of you.”

He squeezed Sammy’s hand under the table till he, too, thanked Bridget for the “really cool ass covers.”

Just then, Danny, with perfect timing, plowed his way through the Odd Squad. “Dad, sorry I’m late. There was a mother of a traffic jam on the freeway. Oops, sorry for the language, Sammy old man.” He squeezed Dad’s shoulder, then leaned down to kiss Bridget on the cheek. “Hey, Bridge!”

In that blink of a second, Zach noticed Danny noticing Bridget’s breasts. That was confirmed when Danny looked his way and winked.

Bridget just giggled.

His dad beamed, pleased as always to have his two sons with him, like a familial entourage.

And Sammy was happy as a hog in a mud hole now that Danny was here. He probably figured Danny would buy him any kind of game he wanted. Little did he know that Zach was going to have a heart-to-heart with Danny. Big nipples, easy pickin’s, were among the subjects he expected to cover.

“Boys,” his father started, “I have a really good idea, which should solve all our problems.”

They waited as the old man paused dramatically.

“I think we should have a family compound. Like the Kennedys. Stones fences. Guard dogs. The works. That way no bad guys — or loony women — could enter. What do you think?”

“Cool!” Sammy said. He didn’t know what a compound was, but he liked dogs.

“Maybe you could build a moat, too,” Zach offered.

“That’s a thought,” his dad said, not getting the sarcasm.

“Here’s a news flash, Dad,” Danny said, barely stifling a laugh. “We are not the Kennedys. There are only four of us.”

“And your mother and your grandfather and grandmother.”

“Oh, that’ll happen.” Zach couldn’t believe he was even discussing this ludicrous idea. “Remember the last time Mom was in the same room with you, Dad.”

“Hmpfh! It’s about time Lillian got over herself.”

“Remember to tell her that next time you see her,” Danny suggested.

“We’re not having a compound,” Zach said. The idea of being locked up anywhere with his father and his bimbo du jour made his skin crawl. One time he stayed at his father’s Hollywood pad and heard him making loud sex through the thin bedroom walls. Yeech! “Eventually this situation with Arsallah will be resolved, and we can go back to living normally.”

Sammy peered up at him with a mixture of hope and disbelief.

“So, pip-squeak, I’m starving.” Danny poked Sammy in the arm.

“Me, too,” Sammy replied.

“You just ate a pound of pasta,” Zach pointed out.

“So? I’m growin’. I need lotsa food.”

“What say we go over to Pizza Pizza for a few slices and a game of pinball?” Danny suggested.

“Cool!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can’t go out in public without a guard detail.”

“Sammy and I will let them hold all our winnings,” Danny said. “Last time we got five hundred tokens.”

“And only spent fifty dollars,” Zach pointed out.

“What’s your point?”