Page 31 of Down and Dirty

“We thought you’d get lonely without us,” JAM replied.

“I see you every day.”

“Besides, I’m lookin’ fer new blood to f—” Cage glanced at the kid and saved his butt by quickly amending, “flirt with.”

“Any more ‘blood’ and they’re gonna put your you-know-what in Ripley’s Believe It or Not.”

“You should talk!” JAM remarked.

“Do y’all have a girlfriend yet, Sammy boy?” This from Cage, of course.

“Girls suck,” Sammy snarled.

“Mais, oui,” Cage drawled, “but thass the bes’ part.”

“Cage!” Zach cautioned. God, he hated that he had turned prig, but someone had to rein in the guys’ language. The kid already knew more blue words than any five-year-old should.

“Ya know what my maw maw allus says, Sammy.” Someday someone was going to clobber Cage over his cornball Cajun sayings. “Maybe the girls you’ve met so far ain’t spicy enough yet.”

“Cage, you are an idiot,” JAM said.

Great! Now the kid will be calling everyone an idiot.

“I’m jist sayin’.” Cage shrugged and winked at JAM. “A girl without spice is like a gator without a snout.”

“Does alligators have snot?” Sammy asked.

“Not snot, kid. Snout,” Cage explained, patting Sammy on the knees.

Sammy tried to kick his hand.

“Stop the car. I hafta poop,” Sammy announced.

At least he didn’t say shit this time. Maybe I’m actually making some progress. “You do not,” Zach said, studying him in the rearview mirror. “You went to the bathroom before we left the house. Just cut it out, Sammy. You’ve gotta use a car seat; it’s the law. We’re not stopping again.”

“I don’t wanna go to any farty party.”

Zach rolled his eyes. “We’re going to Madrene’s damn — uh, I mean, darn — party whether you like it or not, big shot. And you better behave, or Madrene might just put you over her knee and spank you.” She’d threatened it enough times. “Or maybe she’ll hug you and kiss you.”

Sammy appeared horrified at the latter prospect. “Yeech!”

Another glance in the rearview mirror showed his buddies grinning from ear to ear. The guys were getting a huge kick over his being a father. Who knew he would ever be keeping track of a kid’s bathroom habits or watching his language?

He slowed down through the security gate, waiting for the signal to pass through onto the base. Soon he was in front of the women’s quarters. “I’ll be back in a sec with Britta.”

“Is she expecting you?” JAM asked.

“No, but she’ll come.”

JAM grinned.

“Man, I’m glad I came,” Cage remarked to JAM. “This oughta be good. Better even than oglin’ Bawdy Maudy in a wet T-shirt.”

Then they both grinned at him.

Pointing at Sammy, Zach ordered, “Don’t move.”

When he got inside the building, he told the woman sitting at a desk in the entryway, a chief warrant officer, “Can you give Petty Officer Britta Asado a buzz? Tell her Lieutenant Floyd is here to pick her up.”