Page 57 of Viking in Love

He talked to Amicia about the larder and what provisions they needed to supplement Larkspur’s bounty. Amicia kept giving him sly looks.

“What?” he asked finally. “Have I grown a horn atop my head?”

She laughed. “Ye have already sported horns with all your deviltry. Nay, I am just trying to picture why the lass is so determined to keep you at bay.”

He was not about to ask which lass, but his silence did not deter the intrusive cook.

“Do not pretend disinterest in the lady. I can see beyond yer pose.”

“I am not posing.”

“And do not be deterred by her lack of a bosom.”

Caedmon choked on the piece of oak cake he was nibbling and had to take a long draw of ale to clear his throat. “Are you referring to the aspic bosom, or the nonexistent bosom?”

“Tsk-tsk!” she said at his pathetic attempt at humor. “Big bosoms are not everything, you know.”

Oh, God! I am being given sex advice by my cook, a woman the size of a warhorse with the hint of a mustache. “When did I ever say big bosoms were the be-all and end-all?”

Amicia waved a hand dismissively. “There is not a man or boyling alive who does not lust after big breasts. Look at Gerard if you do not believe me. But I have it on good authority that the lady has big nipples. Methinks that may be some compensation.”

Caedmon’s jaw dropped at his cook’s blunt words. Big nipples. Now that the image is planted in my brain, I will be able to think of naught else in her presence.

“Big-nippled women have no control over their passions,” continued Amicia.

Is that true? Surely I would have heard of that before. “Where did you ever hear such a thing? Nay, do not tell me.”

“I knew a man who knew a woman who ran a brothel. She said the big-nippled women were extra sensitive there.” She patted her own breasts as if he would not have known where nipples are located. “One flick, and the trollops would be oozing woman dew.”

Good Lord! Best I cut this conversation short afore she starts on other parts of Breanne’s anatomy. “Uh…Lady Breanne would not like your discussing her female bits.” Of course, now the only thing he could think about, with vivid mind pictures, was Breanne with big nipples.

As he walked away, quickly, he remarked to himself, And Gerard thinks I need more women about. I think not!

After inspecting the castle, inside and out, he thought about big nipples. Going over the ramparts and palisade for defects that needed work, he thought about big nipples. Then, working with the men in swordplay, he thought about big nipples. When he invited Geoff and Wulf to come share a cup of ale with him in the great hall, he admonished himself not to mention…those things he was not thinking about.

“Geoff, would you be willing to take the princesses Ingrith and Drifa to Heatherby? If asked, you could say they are needed to help plan the wedding. Cooking and decorations.”

“I suppose so,” Geoff said, studying him for elaboration on his request.

“And you, Wulf, would you be willing to take the princess Vana, in disguise, with you on a trip to market? You can do my trading for me, perhaps posing as my agent and his lady wife, but afterward I would like you to disappear with the lady for several sennights until we see how the wind blows with Edgar and Dunstan.”

Wulf, also, agreed hesitantly. “Wouldst want me to take her to Ravenshire, or for that matter, to her father in the Norselands?”

He shook his head. “’Tis too dangerous right now. Havenshire’s friends will have guards posted near both places.”

“Mayhap you could take her to Wales,” Geoff suggested. “You could kill two birds with one stone. Protect Lady Havenshire and meet your betrothed.”

“Mayhap you could stick your wagging tongue up your arse,” Wulf suggested sweetly.

Geoff just grinned.

“I know it is asking a lot of you, Wulf, to take Havenshire’s widow under your wing. You could be accused of being accomplice to the murder, or at least of hiding a murderess. Same with you, Geoff, I am asking you to share a danger that is not yours.”

Both men waved aside his concerns.

“Oh, and one of you should take Rashid with you.”

“You anticipate trouble?” Geoff asked.