Page 83 of The Very Virile Viking

"Yech! She tastes like grass. Have you been eating grass, Lida?"

Lida just grinned at her, revealing two tiny front teeth, and said, "Goo."

"Do you not even want to know what I consider unfair?" Kirsten asked.

Not especially. "Of course, sweetling."

She slanted him a scowl that pretty much said, Do not patronize me, Father . "Girls my age should go to school."

"I agree," Dagny said.

" 'Tis only fair that you hire a tutor for us now , then enroll us in school come fall," Kirsten went on. "And we need a proper wardrobe if we are to go to school every day."

"Every day! There is not enough to be learned to require daily schooling." Besides, who knows where we will be come September? This is only July .

"Also, I think my bedtime should be eleven o'clock, like Storvald's. 'Tis not fair that I should have to go to bed at ten, just because I am female."

"Well, I want a pair of jogging shoes. Njal says I am getting fat. I need to start jogging." Dagny blushed as she blurted out her needs.

"You are not fat, Dagny," Magnus told his daughter. "And since when do you listen to the opinions of a person who thinks it is attractive to let snot run down to his chin?"

"I will tell you what is really unfair," Kirsten continued.

Holy Thor! She is getting as bad as Madrene. Blather, blather, blather.

"Torolf gets to go to concerts… well, one concert, but I am sure there will be others. Lily is allowed to go to the mall whenever she wants, and she dyes her hair, and she has a boyfriend, and I want to go to her house for a sleepover, but you keep saying no, no, no. And if I do not get a tiny little tattoo on my hip, I think I might just die."

"Is that all?" Magnus asked as drolly as he could manage.

Dagny and Kirsten actually had tears in their eyes.

"Dost anyone care to hear what I think is unfair?" Magnus grumbled.

Everyone looked at him, and none of them asked "What?"

"Well, I will tell you. There is something that I have sorely missed since we left the Norselands, and does anyone ever ask me what I want? Nay. It is, 'Give me this. Give me that. This is not fair. That is not fair.'"

"What is it that you want, Magnus?" Angela asked, putting her hand on his.

He took her hand in his, twining their ringers, stared into her eyes steadily, and told her what his heart's wish was.

"A cow."

The reason dumb-men jokes were created…

Magnus caught up with her just before she reached the house.

"Angela, dearling, why did you storm off just now?" I will ne'er understand women. Ne'er, ne'er, ne'er .

She stopped so quickly he almost ran into her. "Don't you 'dearling' me, you dumb dolt."

I am a dumb dolt But why now? "What? What did I do?"

"A cow? Your dearest wish in all the world is to get a cow? Puhleeze."

That does sound a mite dumb. "You do not like cows?"

She told him something really foul that he could do with his cows. He guessed she must be angry about something… something beyond his comprehension. He was beginning to understand why women in this country told dumb-men jokes. Still, dumb man that he was, he decided to try to explain himself anyway.