Page 71 of Truly, Madly Viking

"Well, the reason I never married is because Suzy and Beth's father didn't have marriage in his plans.

When I told him I was pregnant, he suggested that I abort the babies."

"Kill them in the womb?" It was not unheard-of in his time, but a deplorable practice, nonetheless...

especially to Vikings, who prized children above all else.

"Yes. Oh, I try to be tolerant of him, but it's hard for me to look at my girls and accept that he never wanted them."

"Perchance he would have changed his mind on seeing them birthed, as I did."

"Maybe, but I don't think so. He had all these things he wanted to do with his life. Children—and me, for that matter—wouldn't have fit in. He wanted to become a famous, wealthy surgeon. Set a record for skydiving. Climb the highest mountains. Race cars. Scuba dive. Whatever. Always a new challenge."

"And were you a challenge to him?"

Her eyes went wide with surprise. "How perceptive of you! Yes, I think I was. I was a virgin when I met Judd... a twenty-one-year-old virgin. You have to understand my background to see why I was ripe for the kill. I developed earlier than most girls my age. Breasts and curves at age twelve were not welcome, believe me."

"I like your breasts... and your curves... especially your fine arse."

She flashed him a glare of reprimand for interrupting her... and for liking her breasts and arse, no doubt.

"Kids can be cruel, and some boys started calling me a slut. And other girls made assumptions that, if I had the visible manifestations of a sexpot, then that's what I must be."

A sexpot? Oh, that must be a woman who spreads her favors hither and yon. Like Rosalyn.

"Today it would be called sexual harassment. But then, teachers and my parents just put it down to harmless teasing. Well, it wasn't harmless."

"You never mention your parents. Where are they now?"

"They died when I was fifteen. That didn't help, either... having no one to confide in, except the elderly aunt I went to live with. She has since died, too. The only family I have is my girls; so you can see why I am so grateful for them."

He nodded. "Go on."

"I got a severe throat infection when I was thirteen, which changed the tenor of my voice. A sex voice, you called it. My classmates did, too. I started wearing clothes that hid my body, and I rarely spoke, unless spoken to, but by then it was too late. I got a reputation without ever having any of the fun... not that I would have considered sex fun at that early stage. All of these repressions lasted through high school."

"Where did you meet this Mud person?"

"Not Mud... Judd," she corrected with a little laugh.

"My mistake," he said, stone-faced.

But she could tell it had been deliberate. "In college. During my senior year. Oh, he was smooth. I give him credit for one thing, though: he brought me out of my shell and made me see that my sensuality belonged to me, and no one else... that I shouldn't care what anyone else thought of my body or my voice. So I started to dress differently and act the way my personality dictated."

"He took advantage of you," Jorund observed with disgust.

"I suppose he did, but he did help me in some ways, too. I can't believe that I never thought of it that way before. And for all his bad traits, he gave me Suzy and Beth, and for that I have to be thankful."

"And did you love him hopelessly?" He was throwing back at her the same question she had asked of him earlier.

She shook her head. "No. I thought I loved him then, of course. I wouldn't have opened myself to him unless I did. But, in the end, I wasn't all that upset when he didn't want to marry me... except for the girls'

sakes. And fortunately I had a trust fund from my parents and a small inheritance from my aunt, which allowed me to finish grad school and take care of my children. Lots of single parents aren't so lucky." She gazed off into the air, tucking away some memory or other, he supposed. Then she concluded, "So that's my story."

"Can we go to bed now?"

She laughed, no longer somber with remembrance. "Stop teasing me."

Jorund hadn't been teasing. After all they had disclosed to each other, he really would have liked to hold her in his arms. And swive her a time or two, he supposed. The time was not right, she had told him on more than one occasion, and he did not know if that right time would ever come. Bloody hell!