Page 92 of A Tale of Two Vikings

“You think I invited this?”

All three men nodded their heads vigorously.

Bolthor, to no one’s surprise, gazed off into the distance dreamily as the verse mood overcame him. “Methinks I should call this one ‘Men and Their Convenient Ears.’”

“Huh?” the other three said.

“The lady said Ess-me.

The man heard ‘Eat me.’

She asked, ‘Will you beat me?’

He thought she said, “Heat me.”

Eat me, heat me,

one and the same,

especially for a Viking man

with a convenient ear.”

“How true! How true!” Tykir said.

“What will you do with her?” Eirik asked.

“Damned if I know!” Toste said, then immediately added, “Whatever I decide, none of you are to interfere, and that includes your meddlesome wives.”

“Did you leave her back at the woodcutter’s hut?” Eirik asked.

“I did, and there she will stay till I decide otherwise.”

“Naked?” Tykir inquired.

Toste did not answer. He didn’t have to. The other three men in the room grinned.

“And, really, none of you can condemn me. You have done as much and more. You, Tykir, once locked Alinor in a bedchamber at Dragonstead for days.”

“Yea, I did, and some of the best memories of my life took place there. Wouldst like to borrow my collection of feathers? It was given to me years ago by a sultan who used it with his harem slaves.”

Three male mouths went slack with disbelief. One never knew when Tykir was teasing or telling the truth.

“No, thank you, Tykir. I can come up with my own methods of torture.”

“Might I suggest—” Eirik began.

“Nay! And one more thing. No one…I mean, no one…is to go within shouting distance of that hut. Is that clear?”

“Well, you’d better have this resolved by next week,” Eirik said.

“Why is that?”

“Because this castle is going to be overflowing with guests for the yuletide festivities.”

Toste put his face in his hands. “I am afraid to ask, but what guests?”

“Archbishop Dunstan, Ealdormen Byrhtnoth of Essex, Aelfhere of Mercia, Aethelwold of East Anglia, Aelfhead of Hampshire and various other notables. I would not be surprised to see the king or one of his closest thegns arrive, though they made no promises. And though not invited by any means, Lord Blackthorne may very well show up to claim his daughter.”