Page 17 of Viking Unchained

“Now, remember what I said. Keep your mouth shut.”

Thorfinn, who was sitting in Torolf’s solar sharpening his sword, raised his head and glared at his cousin with indignation. “Why should I keep my mouth shut?”

“Because every time you open it, I get in trouble. Listen, Hilda’s stuck at her women’s shelter at Hog Heaven—”

What a country! Imagine naming a village Hog Heaven! And there are not even any actual pigs there. “Hilda takes exception to every blessed thing I do. The harpy is always accusing me of making a mess. Tell me true, Torolf, what is so wrong with cutting my toenails in her scullery with a paring knife?”

Torolf shook his head at him, something he did overmuch, and continued, “I don’t feel like cooking. And, no, we are not ordering pizza again, either.”

“We could go to that burn-your-tongue place.”

“We’re not going to Hot Wings Palace, either. We’re going down to the Wet and Wild for dinner, some beers, and a little friendly conversation. Try to behave yourself.”

“Dost insult me, Torolf? Thor’s Teeth, you do! I am not a boyling to be chastised so.”

“Sometimes you act like one.”

“And what will you do if I misbehave? Tie me to a bed again?”

Torolf’s cheeks filled with color. “I only did that for one day and that’s because you were going off half-cocked. ”

“You did it for two days,” he corrected, “and that does not count what you did on the ground in Baghdad to get me in that flying bird.” He thought a moment. “Did you just tell me I have half a cock?

Another insult?”

Torolf laughed. “That’s just an expression that means you were out of control. Only the gods . . . or God . . . knows where you would have run off to when you learned where you were if I hadn’t restrained you.”

“Well, at least then you would not have to babysit me.”

“Are you ever going to forgive me for that remark?”

“I want to go home . . . back to Norstead.”

“It’s out of my hands, buddy.”

“I do not like it here.”

“I don’t see why not. Other than Steven, you have no compelling reason to go back. Your brother will take care of any loose ends at Norstead.”

“That is not for you to decide.”

“Think about all the modern marvels. Cars, airplanes, motor boats, electricity, running water, indoor plumbing, guns, Wal-Mart.”

Thorfinn waved a hand dismissively. “All well and good, but I am lost here. I have no place.”

“I thought you were resigned to joining the military, whether you make SEALs or not.”

“Of course I am resigned to fighting. What else would I do?”

“I’m losing patience with you, Finn. You’re not the first person who has time-traveled and you probably won’t be the last. There are thirteen in my family alone, including my brothers and sisters and two uncles.

Then Britta and Hilda, of course. And a few of my SEAL buddies that you met back there.”

“Are you sure this is not just some other world created by the gods . . . Loki, the jester god, mayhap?”

His cousin shook his head. “It takes time. For some, it takes longer than for others to accept what has happened, but you will. Eventually. That’s why we’ve kept you pretty much in seclusion so you can learn the skills to blend in here.”

“But how does this . . . um, time travel happen . . . and why?”