Page 27 of Kiss of Wrath

“Not you. Your hair.”

More lip twitching. “Even with split ends?”

“Huh?”

“You are going to be very busy with all this ‘arresting’ and strangling. Meanwhile, neglecting your children. Again.”

“Aaarrgh!” She tried to squirm out of his hold, to no avail. Even when she kicked him, her pointy high-heeled Jimmy Choos hitting him mid-calf, he didn’t even flinch.

Just then, there was the sound of breaking glass up above somewhere. It was the bathroom window being broken from inside. The handle of a toilet brush emerged, pushing out the remaining shards. Then Darla stuck her head out and shouted, “Hey! You! Put my friend down. I have a gun and I know how to use it. I can shoot your ass off.”

Viking man glanced up and arched an eyebrow at the toilet brush Darla was waving in the air. “Nice gun,” he remarked, but he did lower Miranda to the ground, though he kept a pincer grasp on one forearm to prevent her from running or doing him bodily harm, she supposed. If she could! But the broom was now out of reach.

“Darla, I presume,” he said to Miranda.

“Yeah, and she really does know how to use a weapon. She’s in security.”

“Really? So am I.”

“Huh? You are?” She waved a hand dismissively then, as if it didn’t matter. Craning her neck upward, she asked, “Darla, honey, why did you knock out the window?”

“Because I’m locked in the damn bathroom.”

She lowered her gaze to Viking man.

“Don’t look at me,” he said, raising both hands in the air. “This is the first I’ve seen the woman.”

Her gaze moved to the children then, especially the three mud pies still standing at attention at the end of the already drying mud patch.

“It was an accident,” Sam said.

“Hah! Likely story!” she remarked.

“The bathroom door always sticks,” Ben added.

“That’s why the key is always in the door,” she said, as if they didn’t all know that.

“Ruff ate the key,” Viking Man said.

“What? You were here? You look like you could knock a door off its hinges with a fingertip.”

“Sarcasm ill-becomes you, wench.”

“Wench? What century are you living in?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes it’s hard to remember.”

“Huh?” She was saying that an awful lot today, she noticed with what was probably hysterical irrelevance.

“We’re waiting for Ruff to poop out the key,” Larry interrupted.

All the children looked to Maggie, who’d just finished the latest pooper scooper job. She shrugged. “Nothing yet.”

“I’m hungry. Can we have hot dogs and mac and cheese?” Larry asked, rubbing his little tummy, in the midst of all this chaos.

“I could barbecue hamburgers,” Sam had the nerve to offer. Then he ducked his head sheepishly. “If someone could start the grill for me.”

“If you go near a fire today, I will personally paddle your arse,” Viking man said.