Page 66 of Good Vampires Go to Heaven

“And you, bitch,” Yakov choked out, looking at Regina, “Jasper has a special torture planned just for you.”

Over my double-dead body, Zeb thought.

Yakov was soon gone, his gnarly body melting like butter on a hot stove. Yakov’s slime made a particularly putrid stink.

“That’s a real coup, Jogeir. Congratulations,” Zeb said.

“You and Regina helped, too,” Jogeir replied. “We all did.”

“You’re the leader of this fight,” Zeb pointed out. “Killing Yakov is huge, Jogeir, and a good number of his minions, as well. Mission accomplished.”

“Not totally. We’re to wipe out every single Lucipire,” Jogeir reminded them. “I don’t think we’ve got them all yet . . .”

Zeb leaned over and gave Regina a quick fly-by kiss on the cheek before she could swat him away. “Congrats, wifey.”

“Are you going to kiss Jogeir, too?” she sniped.

“Only if he grows a pair of breasts and smells like cinnamon.”

They did a three-way high five then, before turning to engage in the tail end of fighting. There weren’t many of the enemy left. Having lost their leader, many of the Lucipires were scattering, running off to the hills, or teletransporting to another of Jasper’s outposts. Where they would, unknowingly, be met by another vangel team.

An hour later, Zeb and Regina were inside the Gloom cave, which had been renovated and enlarged by Zeb over the years. Yakov hadn’t made any changes during his short time here. Jogeir was outside assessing damages, and making a tally of Lucipires killed by counting the number of slime puddles. A crude method of accounting, but the alternative was having each of the vangel survivors tell how many individual demon vampires they had got through the heart. Jogeir had directed them to make sure the cave was a good enough stronghold for the vangels until they decided what to do next. Zeb had assured Jogeir that it was secure, but they were double checking.

“Wow,” Regina said when she first entered the cave. The wide, medieval-looking door was hidden from view to outsiders by a wide overhang of porous rock requiring a visitor to stoop before even seeing the entry.

He led her down a long corridor which was stark and dreary even with overhead lighting and sconces along the walls. He’d chiseled much of this by hand himself. But then they came to the large living room, which was warm and inviting, if he did say so himself, with cushiony, low couches, recliners, coffee tables, and end tables with lamps giving a subdued, soft lighting. Persian rugs in jewel tones covered the bare stone floor. Paintings and framed prints adorned the stone walls. There was a sixty-inch flat-screen TV, and a gas fireplace.

“Wow!” Regina said again. “How did you do all this, especially without garnering any attention?”

“Worked mostly at night. And, hey, I had a lot of years to complete the project. At first, it was only a cave-like opening. That was back in the 1860s, same time as the American Civil War was going on. Jasper had a heyday with some of the corrupt officers, not to mention vicious slave owners. Anyhow, I had no backhoes or drills or other modern equipment. Just sweat and blood. Later, I made sure the Lucipires on my team had some particular skill . . . electrical, plumbing, engineering.”

She looked at him as if impressed.

And he had to admit to being pleased with her appreciation of his efforts. He showed her the modern kitchen then, the two spacious bedrooms, and a bathroom that rivaled many spas. There was also a pantry that had a ton of nonperishable food, like the most sophisticated bunker. “The kitchen alone took me a century to complete, especially since the appliances date themselves almost as soon as they’re put in. Can anyone say microwave, or K-Cup coffeemaker or ice maker?” He smiled at her.

And she smiled back. “I wouldn’t have the patience. Obviously. As indicated by my recent actions, which some . . . namely Vikar and Michael . . . would call impulsive. Jumping in to rescue you because I couldn’t bear to wait for others, more qualified, to get off their butts and act . . . yeah, I rubbed some noses the wrong way for my recklessness.”

“And thank God for that!”

There was also a huge cave-like section, which he showed her, containing dorm-like bedrooms, lounges, a kitchen, and three communal bathrooms to handle up to twenty-five Lucipires . . . and now vangels. The digs back here were modest, but comfortable. Besides that, a room in the far back held a massive generator for electricity because a drain on municipal lines would be noticed. In addition, there was a cover and a complicated mechanism leading to a well for water. “It took me ten years to find a natural underground spring and run water lines. Try doing that at night so no one will notice.”

“I still can’t believe you did all this, on top of your island hideaway,” Regina said.

“Like I said, I’ve been around a very long time . . . almost two thousand years. Lots of time between missions. And occasionally, like I said, when I had enough space carved out, I had Lucipires to help me.”

Jogeir came in then with several vangels who needed to take a shower to remove some Lucipire mung. Jogeir was given the tour, too, and was equally impressed.

For some reason, Zeb didn’t bask as much in Jogeir’s compliments as he had with Regina’s. “Love the TV. Bet a Phillies game on that screen would be awesome.”

Regina muttered something like, “Men!”

“What did you say?” Jogeir asked.

“I said, ‘Men!’ They see a marvel of architectural ingenuity, carving a home out of rock, and all they can comment on is the TV.”

Zeb grinned at her assessment. Me? An architectural genius? I’m going to remind her of that the next time she snarks at me.

“Well, it is big,” Jogeir said defensively. Then, “I wonder if Mike will allow you to keep this cave. Possibly as another vangel outpost.”