Page 13 of Good Vampires Go to Heaven

“What? Why didn’t you tell me that to begin with?”

“I’m telling ye now.”

“Why are you doling out potions without consulting me?”

Grimelda gave her a look that pretty much said “You’re not the boss of me.”

“Do Patience and Beau know about this?”

“They do now.”

“Aaarrgh! I thought we were working together.”

Grimelda had a long-handled broom in hand and was checking its heft, angling it this way and that, as if for flying. She just shrugged at Regina’s consternation.

“I expect we will be out of Horror by tomorrow,” Grimelda said. “Where do you plan on taking us?”

Regina had originally planned to take Zeb back to the castle in Transylvania, no matter what Mike or Vikar had said. She didn’t think they would turn him away, not in his present condition. But Zeb and three demon witches? No way! First of all, she wasn’t sure she could do a tandem teletransport with another person, assuming Zeb was able to handle his end of things, which was starting to seem highly unlikely. Somehow, she would figure a way to rescue him. But a five-person jump through space defied even the remotest possibility.

“Um . . . I was thinking that I would get Zeb out of here first, then come back for you three, one at a time,” she said.

Grimelda just laughed, and it wasn’t a nice laugh. More a cackle.

“Surely, you can see that all of us leaving at once would be impossible,” Regina said.

“It’s all or none, dearling. And lest ye be thinking I’m a frail old woman that ye could overcome, jist know there are potions and there are potions.” She glanced pointedly at the water bottle that Regina still held in one hand.

“What? Did you put something in here?” She dropped the plastic bottle to the floor.

“’Course not,” Grimelda said, examining her grimy fingernails. “But it would be a shame if ye were to have a bout of bloody bowel flux whilst in this closet, now wouldn’t it?”

“You are a . . . witch!” Regina seethed, lunging for the old lady who managed to slip through the door, cackling. Outside, she could hear Grimelda talking to someone about the broom she must have carried out with her. Otherwise, Regina probably would have followed after her.

Minutes later, Patience showed up. Her mob cap was askew and her dress was rumpled. Regina didn’t dare ask what her job had been for the day. “Do not be letting Grimey bother you,” Patience advised when apprised of what she’d told Regina. “She means well.”

“By threatening me with a laxative?”

“Well, not that, but by giving Craven a potion. I tried to seduce him away from the cave, but little good it did me,” Patience said, waving a hand to indicate her manhandled apparel. “He was good for only five minutes. Not enough time for me to lure him away. The clod!”

Regina shouldn’t have been appalled, but she was. Patience had engaged in sex with the beast, just to distract him long enough for Regina to talk to Zeb? It was more than she herself was willing to do. Probably.

“In any case, Beau will come within the hour to guide you back to the cave. You must determine whether the Hebrew is able to be moved. Not just physically moving him with all his injuries, but through space. Where will we be going, by the by? I mean, where exactly is the vangel headquarters?”

Regina wasn’t about to give up that confidential information. “Oh, there are several headquarters. I’m not sure which one we’ll go to. It’s something I’ll discuss with Zebulan.”

Patience nodded. “I cannot wait to be out of here. Three hundred and twenty-seven years since I was burned at the stake, which was naught, compared to these three hundred and twenty-seven years of being a demon.” There were tears in her eyes as she gazed at Regina.

Guilt overwhelmed Regina at the thought of leaving this woman behind, but what else could she do? Maybe she really could come back sometime later?

Yeah, and broomsticks can fly!

It was only minutes later, but seemed like hours, before Beau arrived. He had just showered and changed into the same attire as yesterday, though clean, explaining that he’d been in physical training to be a Lucipire all day long and had been stinky with sweat. “Ah smelled bad enough ta knock a dawg off a gut wagon,” he said in his usual colorful way.

“As if that’s important to me. You could smell like a toad for all I care,” she snapped. “I need to get out of here.”

“Keep in mind, chère. The best thing about us toads is we kin eat what bugs us.” He waggled his dark eyebrows at her. “C’mon. Ah’ll take you to the cave.”

“Really? Just like that, I can leave now. Um, why don’t you just point me the way, and I’ll go myself.” The sooner she was rid of these three yahoos the better.