Page 30 of Whip’s Wisdom

I have another text from Cane and some of the brothers from the club. I will text them all back later right now. I just want to get to my daughter and meet my new grandbabies. As I get in the truck I hear my phone ping with a text message.

Cooper: Thought you’d want to see your grandbabies. They are gorgeous. I know you are going to see them in person, but wanted to send you a little something for you to see before you get here. Ronan Colt Miller in the red cap, Rebel Skye Miller in the pink cap and Rowan Knox Miller in the black cap. Aren’t they beautiful? Peyton is doing well, I’m with her now. She will be glad when you get here. Hopefully by the time you get here she will get to see the babies.

Attached he sent me multiple pictures of my beautiful grandbabies and they are so very small, but they are so beautiful.

“Look guys, Cooper sent me some pictures of the babies, do you want to see?”

“Yes please daddy! I want to see the babies! What did she have?”

I pass the phone back to Tillie and tell her that they had two boys and a girl.

“Why do they have all that stuff on them? Are they okay?”

I turn around and look at my little girl as she is looking at the pictures and showing Davis.

“They babies were born a little too early, so they weren’t all ready to come out. So they need all those things to help them breathe and to help them grow big and strong. They should be able to be off all that and home in no time. They are Jacobson's, they are strong.”

I smile at Tillie to let her know that it is all going to be okay.

We arrive at the hospital an hour later and I’m hoping that Peyton has been able to see the triplets by now. I know it has been awhile since they said she got out of surgery and was hanging out in her room. We walk up towards the front desk and I ask the nurses about my daughters room and they give me her room number. We head that way to check and see if she is in there before we head towards the NICU to see if she is there.

We get to the room and sure enough I am informed Peyton has gone to the NICU to see her babies. The nurse who made no attempt to hide the fact that she was checking me out, which I felt dirty about. My wife would normally make jokes and pick on me as this was happening if she was here. Right now it feels wrong and I hate how unprofessional the whole thing is. Here I am seeing my daughter and grandbabies with two of my children and a ring on my finger and this woman is trying to make a pass at me. I ignore it all as we come up to the NICU doors.

“Thank you, we don’t need your help anymore.”

I say to her and she smiles at me and says if I need anything she’s right at the desk. I didn’t reply and turned to look into the window of the NICU in search of my girl. As I am standing looking around the doors open and Whip exits.

“Hey, Bulldog. Glad you got here safely. Peyton and Knox are in there with the babies. Do you want to go in and I can stay out here with Tillie and Davis. Then maybe they can switch off with you.”

I nod my head and look at my kids, “Are you guys going to be good here with Cooper while I go see the babies? You guys can take turns after I come back out, okay?”

Tillie and Davis both nod their heads and I walk through the doors washing my hands then placing on a gown over my clothes. I walk down the isles until I come to where Peyton is sitting in a chair with a button down shirt on while holding a baby with skin to skin. Knox is over in another chair, with a similar situation going on. They are both so into what they are holding that they do not notice me coming in. I pull my phone out and take pictures of both of them.

“So who do we have here?” I walk up towards Peyton and put my hand on her shoulder.

She looks up at me and smiles. “This is Ronan.”

I look down at the tiny little baby she has bundled up on her chest. He has all the tubes and things on him, but he is still so beautiful.

“He is beautiful, baby girl. You did so good. Who does Knox have?”

“He has Rebel. She’s got her two daddies wrapped around her finger already. Cooper was holding her and Knox was holding Rowan before you got here.”

I look at the little crib that is in between Knox and Peyton, “Is this little Rowan right here?”

She smiles, “Yeah daddy, it is.”

I stand up at the crib and look down at the baby and then over at the two babies. Being here and seeing these beautiful babies and seeing Peyton become a mom hits me in ways I didn’t realize it would. I walk around and sit in the chair next to one of the babies’ cribs and put my head in my hands. Missy should be here, Missy should be meeting her beautiful grandbabies for the first time and she should be sitting here helping Peyton with her babies and becoming a mother. None of this is right. None of it. As the tears start to fall down my face, I stand up and walk towards the exit.

“Daddy, where are you going?”

I turn and look at my little girl tears in my eyes, trying to keep it all together so that I can get out of here before I explode, “I’ve got to go baby, but your brother and sister, they are here and they are going to come in and meet their niece and nephews, okay?”

She looks at me and you can tell that she is worried. She nods her head and I walk out of the NICU. I leave the room and Cooper looks up at me and I’m not sure what he sees on my face, but he looks over at Tillie and Davis and tells them to head inside and wash their hands and put on a gown. Once they are inside he comes over to me. He hands me the keys to his bike. Taking them and giving him a nod, I head for the exit of the hospital.

Getting to Cooper’s bike and starting it I head out of the parking lot trying to find somewhere to get away from this pain I am feeling. The hurt that has hit me in a way I didn’t want it to. I’ve been keeping it all together for the kids and for everyone else. All of this is my fault. I should’ve kept her with me at all times. I should’ve never let anyone out of my sight. This bastard who thinks that everything I have is his, he took my wife from me, he took the mother of my children. He destroyed the one thing that has held me together for years. The woman that owned my heart and part of my soul and now she is missing out on the most important part of Peyton’s life. She’s missing out on all these things and she is going to miss out on the other kids having babies, she’s going to miss Davis and Tillie’s graduations, and then getting married. She’ll never see Davis get his patch, none of it. These three babies will never get to meet their MiMi and never know the love she had for them even before they were born. She will never experience being with MiMi making Christmas cookies or her crazy obsession with buying so many presents for holidays and birthdays none of it.

As all these thoughts keep running through I speed up on the bike and continue heading towards the clubhouse. I know they have a gym in their basement and I think I need to beat the fuck out of something or someone. Pulling through the gate at the Untamed clubhouse I park Coop’s bike and head inside. As I walk inside everyone turns and looks at me like they were waiting for me. I bypass everyone and head towards their basement.