Page 26 of Whip’s Wisdom

Knox bends down and kisses me on the head, “Do you need anything? I know now that we are here you aren’t going to be able to eat anything. So do you want some ice chips or something?”

Before I answer, a contraction hits and I squeeze his hand and squeeze my eyes shut, “Yes, please ice chips.” I grit out.

Once the contraction passes and Knox lets go of my hand and kisses me on the forehead, “I will be right back with those, okay. I hope by then the doctor will be in and check you so we can find out if you can get that epidural or not.”

“I better be getting that epidural, I’ll flip shit if I can’t have that.”

He chuckles and heads out the door. About a minute later my doctor comes in.

“Hey Peyton, a little earlier than planned, huh?”

“Yeah well my brother came in and started making jokes and jinxed me. Just tell me I can get an epidural and we will be the best of friends.”

So the doctor gets down there and begins to check me when Knox walks in with my ice chips.

“Perfect timing dad, it looks like you are four centimeters. So we can give you that epidural. I do want to walk you through what is going to be happening too. So you’re going to be monitored. The babies’ heartbeats will be monitored on the screen here along with your contractions. Since you are at 32 weeks your babies will spend some time in the NICU. Also we are hoping that everything goes okay with a natural delivery like you wanted, but most of the time with triplets we do end up doing scheduled c-sections. Since you are in labor, we are going to let everything progress. If there are any complications we will have to go in for a c-section. Honestly, I would prefer doing a c-section in case of any complications. That is usually what we recommend. You are at a greater risk for infection as well. I don’t say all this to scare you, but I feel like our safest option for you would be delivering via c-section. Yes you are dilated, but that will not impact a c-section at this point if we get you in and ready right now.”

I look over at Knox because I am terrified. I was terrified when I felt like I was going to be delivering three babies naturally. Knox looks at me and gives me a tentative smile.

“We talked about this with your doctor before. She wanted you scheduled for your c-section at 35 weeks and you were not wanting to do it. But you scheduled it just in case. I think we need to do the c-section, Peyton. For you and for the babies. But it is your body, so it is up to you. She’s giving you the option.”

“If I say yes to the c-section when would that happen?”

“It would be right away, an emergent type c-section. Like I said, I highly recommend it for your safety and for the babies’ safety.”

I think about everything and look at Knox and then the doctor, “Okay, let’s do that. I want whatever is safest for my babies.”

“Alright we will get everything set up and dad we will get you a pair of scrubs to put on while you are in the operating room.”

Everything after that goes so fast, I am terrified, but I know that this is the right decision for myself and for my babies. Once in the operating room, I received the spinal block and was immediately laid down so they could prep me. Once I was prepped and ready to go they brought Knox in who came up and held my hand.

We were told once they get in there everything will go fast and the babies will be placed in their incubators and brought to the NICU where they will most likely be staying for 22 days due to their gestational age. I could feel a lot of pressure, but no pain. It was honestly a weird sensation and at some point I felt like I was going to throw up so Knox informed the anesthesiologist who then gave me medication in my IV to help with feeling.

“Alright we are taking out baby A, and here we go it is a beautiful baby boy. Dad, you want to come over here and cut the cord?”

Knox goes over and cuts the cord and I know that I will not be able to see them until I can get to the NICU and that is about the saddest thing I have ever heard. They also told me that we might not hear a cry because their lungs are still not developed.

“Baby B, we have a beautiful baby girl!”

Then there is more pulling and pushing feeling happening and finally the doctor says, “We have baby C and he is a beautiful baby boy.”

After cutting the cord for the final baby, Knox comes back and sits by me with tears in his eyes, “They are beautiful, baby, but they are so, so small.”

I get tears in my eyes and nod my head a little bit and look up at the ceiling. I want to get out of here and see my babies. I know that I won’t be able to though. I know that I will have to recover for a little while after they bring me back to the room. I won’t be able to get out of bed for the next twelve hours. I look over at Knox.

“You need to go with them, please. I will be okay, but I won’t be able to be there with them right away, I want you to be. Please. Make sure they are okay, take a bunch of pictures and keep me posted on everything. Once I get back to the room I will have my phone, but please go with the babies.”

“Peyton—-”

I cut him off, “No, please. I won’t be okay unless I know you are with them. Please.”

He nods his head and gives me a kiss before standing up and following the NICU nurses with the incubators.

After what feels like hours I am being wheeled into a room, where they set up my bed and let me know that they will be getting me my pain medication and checking on me. I lay back in the bed and put my head on the bed. I just want to see my babies. One of the nurses hands me my phone. I see that I already have a message from Knox and open it up and what I see makes me sob. My three beautiful little babies with wires and everything sticking out of them. He attaches the names and weight to the babies. We had talked about the names so he knew, but I’m glad he chose which boy had which name because looking at the pictures it felt right. He told me that the boy with the darker fuzz on his head was Ronan Colt Miller, he was 4 lbs and 5 oz and 16.5 inches long. The next little one who I could not tell if he had any hair yet was Rowan Knox Miller, he was 4 lbs and 2 oz. Then there was our sweet baby girl who looked to have some lighter fuzz on her head was Rebel Skye Miller, she was 3 lbs and 7 oz. They are so small and I am so scared for them. I lay my head back on the bed and cry.

Chapter Sixteen

Whip