Page 32 of A Cruel Kindness

This spoke to her motivations, to her as a whole.

Bellamy’s eyebrows pulled back in a brief moment of anguish. Then she gave me a sliver of truth. “It has to do with my father.”

I groaned, needing to confirm something that I’d thought of briefly, but didn’t want to entertain. “Please don’t tell me you’re a spy for him.”

Bellamy laughed. “No, not a spy.”

That statement was true. I needed more evidence to prove it, but it seemed like she blinked twice, quickly, before telling the truth. That was her tell. “Then what?”

Bellamy considered her responses again, taking a full three breaths to answer. It simply gave me more time to stare at her. I couldn’t be angry about that. “I’m figuring out how much of a liar he is. If he isn’t, maybe I’ll share some information back with him. For the Empire’s sake. Not his.”

Fair plan. Though the Emperor had near absolute power, there were still a group of advisors that surrounded them with a lot of sway. Half of which was wielded through the spreading of information to the other families, all of whom could overthrow the Emperor at the drop of a hat with their combined armies. “And if he is?”

Bellamy shrugged so casually, you’d think she was choosing between two desserts. “Then I don’t.”

“Some would consider that treason.”

There was that shrug again, the lift and drop of her beautiful shoulder. “They can take my head if it means this war ends.”

I had to actively repress how much that thought terrified me. I couldn’t even get far enough towards visualizing it without my hand trying to bend the metal of the bench I was sitting on. I forced myself towards humor. “You have a lot of faith in yourself, princess.”

“Maybe,” Bellamy said, her eyes lighting with a smile. The fact I could make her do that was insane. “What about you? Should I be aware of any sneaking around you’ll be doing?”

I snorted a laugh, pausing to take a sip of my coffee. “In all my copious free time, I’d like to figure out what happened with Carson.”

Bellamy’s eyebrows pinched together ever so slightly. Everyone else’s condolences had felt grating, if not blatantly annoying. Her small show of empathy made my shoulders relax. “They won’t tell you anything?”

I laughed incredulously. “Oh, I am under express orders not to do anything about that. I believe they threatened jail time and a possible execution.”

Bellamy frowned then, her breathing quickening. I was not going to be the one to tell her she looked rather cute. Especially not when my imprisonment and death were the source of her ire.

I liked that.

“And you think you’ll be able to find answers once we Cross?” she asked after a small, resetting shake of her head.

I nodded. There were plenty of places and people I could vet to see where he’d gone.

Bellamy brightened with an idea. “We have to let each other do what we need to. The only way we can do that is if we…” She trailed off, changing course. I wanted to know what she was going to say. “Well, if we can even let each other out of sight.”

If we give into the Bond. I’d bet half my yearly salary that was what she was going to say. I wished she had. It would be fun to entertain the idea.

“You want to resist it,” I said, not even attempting to stop my frown. I didn’t care how good of a suggestion it was.

“It’s worked before,” Bellamy returned, clearly referencing Esme and Ford. I could see why she thought that resisting was what they were doing, absent the real story.

“I agree.” I didn’t, but I also didn’t think there was a way to satisfy the Bond and my goals. At least for now. I needed to be able to sneak off in the middle of the night if I had to. I imagined she had to do the same. If the Bond started growling like a guard dog, that wouldn’t work. “We just have to get used to it.”

No way that’s happening, buddy, the Bond lobbed into my head, before curling back into a comfortable position in my mind. I knew it wouldn’t let me get a moment’s rest, but I mentally flipped it off anyway.

Bellamy nodded, clearly encouraged by my agreement. Well, hell, she could get whatever she wanted from me if it meant she’d dip her chin like that, looking at me under lowered lashes while her mouth curved into a grin. “It’ll get tired and calm down.”

I wasn’t sure I believed that either. We had to try, though.

I was stubborn to my core, needing to see something with my own eyes to truly believe it. I needed to hear what happened from Carson himself, and that would take some maneuvering to achieve.

Anger rose again at the memory of how I discovered what he’d done.

And then the Bond decided it was appropriate to shove that very memory at me, but this time with Bellamy at the helm.