Page 120 of A Cruel Kindness

No. No, that wasn’t possible.

“Where is she?” I growled out, panic seizing my throat. Clover and Lucky took over where I couldn’t, taking off the way Clover came. All I could do was hold onto Lucky’s reins and pray to God that Bellamy was okay. As we ran along, my legs burning from the breakneck pace, I searched my body and my mind for signs of sickness, a hint that my life was about to end just as Bellamy’s had.

The problem was, that seemed like a fine way to go. There was nothing for me if she wasn’t living, wasn’t smiling at me like she was annoyed I’d been able to get to her in the first place.

Fuck.

I’d fucked up.

That was my most prominent thought as we ran and ran and ran in search of her. That I should have fought harder. At the beginning, we’d spent far too much time resisting everything.

I’d stood by as she suffered her fate. I should have taken the beating for the both of us, playing the possessive Soul Mate that refused to let her marry someone else until someone came up with a better plan. One that didn’t hurt her.

Responsibility and duty felt like weak excuses now.

In the end, that was nothing in the face of how much I loved her. There was nothing that could be more important than holding her one last time.

We crested a small hill, leading to an expansive field, and my eyes searched the ground for any sign of her, hoping she’d just sent Clover to find me but she was still well enough to jump up and call me to her.

I found nothing, which only sent me further into insanity. I could barely breathe as Clover ran towards a bed of wildflowers backing up to the forest.

The closer we got, and the more time that went by that I didn’t see Bellamy, the more I was convinced that I would surely die before we even got there.

Clover’s pained sounds cut through the wind whipping through my ears, and while I couldn’t bear the thought of her being injured, I could only hope it was because of the wound on her side.

After a few moments, Clover started to slow down.

I saw it then, a wash of flowing black hair cutting through the bright flowers.

Bellamy.

“Bell!” I shouted, praying that she’d simply pop up from a rest in the flowers and make my heart start beating again.

She didn’t move.

Clover ran straight for her, crying as she tried to nudge her with her snout and get her to start moving.

Lucky’s own distress was palpable, though I couldn’t tell if it was for my own pain or Clover’s. Probably both.

I jumped off his back, not even bothering to keep with proper form. I ran towards Bellamy, dropping to my knees next to her. The ground underneath me squished, and I realized it was because it was wet with her blood.

I was so focused on her face, as restful as if she’d just been sleeping, that I didn’t even realize what her wounds were until I saw the bloody fabric wrapped around her leg. Her shirt was off, half of it discarded to the side and looked like it was soaked through with her blood.

The other half was tied around her upper thigh, cutting off circulation to her leg.

Someone fucking shot her.

God, the bullet was probably embedded into Clover’s side.

My hands shook as I brought them to Bellamy’s face, lightly tapping her cheek.

“Come on, baby, please.” I could feel tears slipping down my face. “Please wake up.”

I shook her a little harder, praying that she jolted awake with a quip about leaving her alone.

She didn’t, just flopped into my hold even as I stroked and patted her skin. My head fell to her chest, listening for her heartbeat as my fingers cradled her neck to feel for her pulse.

It took several, agonizing seconds for her heart to make a weak, hollow pump in her chest.