Page 148 of The Gods Forbid

I’d never been this mad in my entire life and I didn’t know how to handle it. It was too much, sending my senses into overdrive.

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair then down his chest, blinking rapidly as he realized he was alive and okay. I watched as he processed what had happened, realized that I’d given his power back to him and that was what healed him—well, along with a sizable lightning bolt from my brother.

His gaze snapped to me, his hand already reaching out. “Love…”

“No,” I said softly, shrinking away from him. I felt like I was about to crawl out of my skin and if he touched me, I was sure I’d implode. Everything felt like too much, too harsh.

“Persephone,” Sebastian tried again, moving up to a seated position with a loud groan. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay, you fucking asshole!” The words exploded from my chest before I could stop them, my hands flailing and falling back into my lap.

Sebastian looked confused, rightfully so, and he moved toward me again. I pulled back, right through a portal, before he could touch me.

I landed on the floor of my bedroom, and I finally felt like I could take a breath. Not a good one, but a breath nonetheless. My next exhale was ragged, my eyes warm with another wave of tears.

My back hit the foot of my bed and I pushed harder against it, pulling my legs close to my chest and dropping my forehead to my knees. If I made myself smaller, maybe the rage and anger and pain in my chest would feel smaller, too.

I didn’t have time to tell if it would work before a portal cracked in front of me. I lifted my head to see Sebastian stepping through, eyes wild and crazed.

At least he could stand.

The second his eyes landed on my curled form on the floor, he dropped to his knees in front of me, hands outstretched. I scrambled away from him, standing and fleeing to the far side of the room.

“Persephone, love, what’s wrong?” Sebastian asked, hands open in surrender. “I’m sorry you were almost hurt, but you’re okay. There will never be another threat against you for as long as I live.”

“That’s what you think I’m upset about?!” I shot back, my voice raised in a yell again. My heartbeat felt out of control, my mind overrun with emotion. And I was still crying.

Sebastian took another step towards me. I backed myself into the wall. “Love, I’m sorry, okay? That wasn’t supposed to happen. I had no idea Ariana would do something like that.”

“I don’t care!” I should have. I should care that there was a possibility, no matter how much I trusted him, that he was lying and that he hadn’t changed one bit and that he was still wrapped up in his family's plot. But I couldn’t see past my rage. “You almost left me!”

Sebastian jerked back, his eyes bouncing over my face quickly, clearly trying to figure out if he heard me right or not. His pause only gave me leave to yell again. “You cannot just jump in front of arrows, Sebastian!”

The reminder of what just happened seemed to kick his own anger off. “You would have rather me just let you get fucking shot?”

“Yes! That would have been better than—“ My voice broke off, another fresh wave of emotion crashing over me. I could see that he was okay. He was standing in front of me, but I would never forget how it felt to watch him almost die. “You made me watch you die.”

He had died. For a moment.

My hand flew to my mouth, trapping in a sob.

Sebastian was in front of me in a second, pressing so close I could feel the heat of him along my entire body. His hand came up to my wrist, wrapping lightly against the skin and brushing his thumb over my pulse point. “I can’t apologize for that, love. Not when the alternative was seeing you get hurt.”

I shook my head, my chest bending with agony. “No. Sebastian you can’t—”

I cut myself off before I said too much. But then Sebastian just had to go ahead and cup my cheek with his large, warm palm and then it made me think of how cold his skin had felt mere minutes ago.

I wrenched my wrist out of his grip and slammed both hands into his chest. “No. No. You don’t get to do that, Sebastian!” I pushed harder, needing to do something with the fury in my chest. “I am so fucking mad at you.”

“Forgive a man for expecting a bit more gratitude after saving your life,” Sebastian said, smiling and completely unmoving despite how hard I was pushing at him.

“I’m not going to thank you for almost ruining my life!” Too much was coming out, but I didn’t have the mind to care. “If you died, Sebastian, I wouldn’t—I can’t…”

The real answer was that I didn’t think I’d survive it.

Sebastian’s jaw went hard, his hands coming up to my face and gripping it like it was his lifeline. “And what about me, Persephone? What would have happened to me if you’d died?”

“Well, I assumed you would have healed me before that happened.” And that reminded me of the other fucking stupid thing he’d done. “You had no right to make me your heir! Do you really think I would have happily taken on the role of Apollo knowing you had to die for me to get it?”