Page 66 of The Haunting Plot

“Feckin’ hell,” Mike groans.

“That’s some sound logic,” RJ agrees.

Mike looks at Hardy. “How do you know my dick is pierced?”

Hardy scratches the back of his neck. “Lucy told Bella when you two first started hooking up.”

Mike’s face quirks into a smile before he shakes his head. “My piercings don’t qualify me to look at the chief’s dick.”

“I don’t need you to look at it. I need you to get this thing off.”

RJ laughs harder. “I’m not getting anything off.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Pretty sure you want us to look at your dick while we’re operating a saw near it,” Hardy says.

“Rudy’s pretty friendly with one of the nurses at the hospital. Want us to take you in?” Mike asks.

“They can’t help me. It’s titanium. They don’t have the tools to cut through it like we do.”

“I never thought I’d say these words to you, Chief, but whip it out. We need to see what we’re working with,” Hardy says.

There are a couple of snickers, but I give them all the death glare. “This doesn’t leave this house. Understand?”

They all nod, and I slowly pull my pants and boxers down.

Mike winces. “That looks like a feckin’ angry wee man.”

“Don’t use the word ‘wee’ to describe my dick.”

Mike holds up his hands. “Sorry, Chief. Nothing wee about that one. Big and proper manly. I’ll shut up now.”

“Why is it so red?” RJ asks.

Hardy leans in. “Holy shit. What am I looking at here? Is that one of your nuts in there? That looks like it hurts. Does it hurt?”

“Yes, it fucking hurts,” I snap as I stuff myself back in my pants. “Somebody do something about it.”

They all look at each other and lift a finger to their noses. Hardy’s the last one, and he sulks out of the room, heading back out the front door. I look after him, hoping he’s retrieving the tools we need as I turn away from the open door. “Not sure I want the one with the slowest reflexes cutting this off my dick.”

Hardy walks back in, holding the Dremel with a defeated look.

I point at RJ and Mike. “You two idiots better keep quiet about this.”

RJ shakes his head, humor on his face. “I think my sister’s rubbing off on you.”

Mike elbows him. “Better than him rubbin’ one off on ’er.”

RJ smacks him in the gut. “Gross, man, that’s my sister.”

“Sorry, pal.”

Hardy sighs as he squats in front of me. “Let’s get this over with.”

“That’s it, Hardy, get on your knees for the chief,” RJ says through snickers.

“That’s one way to get that promotion, man,” Mike adds.