Page 18 of The Summer Plans

“Bella must’ve slipped those in when I wasn’t looking.”

“Who’s Bella?” Sophie shoves what looks like a palm tree shaft into her mouth.

“She’s one of my best friends. And she knows Logan has an egg allergy, so she always makes an egg-free version of her cockies for me.”

Sophie giggles, a few cookie crumbs shooting out of her mouth. “Cockies! Like cock cookies?”

RJ groans, leaning his arms on the counter and my eyes track the movement. When did his forearms get so thick? And veiny?

“Bella? Hardy’s girl?” he asks.

I take another sip of my coffee. “That’s the one.”

“She makes your kids dick cookies?” He lifts an eyebrow.

It’s an effort not to roll my eyes at him. Of course he wouldn’t get it. “No, but she knows my kid has an allergy, so she makes them egg-free just in case the kids get into them. She’s thoughtful like that.”

“Maybe we could Frankenstein these cockies back together?” Sophie lays out all the pieces as she tries to line them up. “Okay, so I think the palm tree ones go with these giant coconuts. And the beachballs are with the surfboard.”

I lean over the counter, helping her assemble a few. “We should probably eat all the dicks.”

She bursts into laughter, and I cringe, realizing what I just said.

“I mean… their shape is the most obvious. There’s no way we can eat all of those, but if we eat the tips, we could share the rest with the kids, and they’d be none the wiser.”

Sophie smiles. “I like the way you think.”

“Trust me, I’ve had lots of practice shoving tips in my mouth.” I laugh, pointing at the cookies. Then my words hit me and Sophie, and we both lose it again.

RJ looks visibly annoyed as he pushes off the counter and sulks over to the sink where he starts washing pans. Is he mad that I’m eating cookies instead of the breakfast he made or that I implied that I’ve sucked a lot of dick? I haven’t. If it’d been up to me, his would’ve been the only dick ever in my mouth and we’d be spending a lifetime together eating pancakes. But that’s not the hand life dealt me. And aside from him helping me with my top, putting aloe on me, and making breakfast, he’s being a dick right now.

I don’t know what his problem is, but I refuse to let him steal my joy. Again.

——————

Me: Did you sneak penis-shaped cookies into my luggage, Bella?

Raven: I was wondering when she’d notice.

Bella: You found them! Took you long enough.

Me: Lana found them!

Lucy: Oh shit.

Me: Yeah, oh shit. And they were all broken, so luckily it wasn’t obvious what they were. But then RJ told them they were poisoned so the kids wouldn’t eat them.

Bella: But I made them egg-free just in case.

Me: Yeah, but Logan can’t have too many sweets or it messes with his blood sugar.

Bella: I made them diabetes-friendly too. With almond flour.

Lucy: That’s so thoughtful.

Me: It is. I even said that to RJ.

Raven: How is making diabetic egg-free dick cookies for her ten-year-old thoughtful?