Page 1 of The Summer Plans

CHAPTER 1

SUMMER

“Mom, did you know there’s a sea creature that can shoot orgasms out of its butt?” Logan says proudly as he turns around in the seat in front of me on the plane.

“You mean organs,” I say, correcting my ten-year-old.

Logan frowns. “That’s what I said.”

His twin sister Lana wrinkles her nose. “Gross.”

“Cool! Wait, do they die?” Lucas asks.

“No, they grow back once they get away.”

“I did not know that, sweetie. Can you keep your voice down, please?” I try to sound interested. Logan’s been reading all the books on sea creatures he could find, once he found out we were going to the beach for our summer vacation.

“That’s what the book said. When it gets scared, it shoots stuff out of its butt⁠—”

Lucas laughs, leaning forward in his seat. “Like poop?”

“That’s not impressive, all animals poop.” Lana rolls her eyes as she turns to look out the window.

“Jellyfish don’t. They don’t have a butthole. It goes out the same hole it went in.”

Lana makes a face. “Eww, they poop out of their mouths?”

“Yup, and starfish poop through their feet.”

“Can we stop saying poop?” I beg, hoping we’re not disturbing the other fliers around us.

Logan continues, undeterred. “Jellyfish doo-doo out of their only hole. And sponges release waste through their whole body.”

“So, SpongeBob doo-doos out of all his holes?” Lucas giggles.

“Yup! But the other animal I was talking about squirts out a sticky substance.”

The man next to Logan clears his throat and gives me a look over his shoulder like he wants me to change the topic. Trust me, buddy, I’m trying. But when you have a voracious reader like Logan, it’s difficult. His fluency is fantastic, but his reading comprehension could use a little work. I’m not entirely sure everything that comes out of his mouth is accurate.

“Are you sure that’s what it said exactly?” I ask.

Logan shrugs. “Close enough.”

“What was the animal?” Lucas asks.

Logan holds up his book, flipping through the pages. “A cucumber.”

“A sea cucumber?” I offer.

“Yeah, that’s it!”

“Hmm, I don’t remember them mentioning that on the sea cucumber episode of Octonauts.”

“Octonauts is a baby show,” Lucas adds, reminding me that at nine, my youngest is no longer a baby.

“What else did your book say?” I regret the words as soon as they’re out of my mouth.

“Turtles can breathe through their butts. Lobsters pee out of their face, and that’s how they talk to each other. Male seahorses shoot out babies from their penis.”