Page 44 of Let Me Show You

She shakes her head. “Are you messin’ with me? You wanted to…kiss me?”

I snort and shake my head. “You must be the only person in Lawton Ridge who didn’t know.”

We sit in silence as my heart races in anticipation of her next words.

Eventually, she speaks up. “Noah, I just…I don't know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything,” I say honestly. “It was a million years ago.”

Her arms drop to her side, and her brow furrows. “You never said anything.”

“I know,” I say somberly.

She eventually snorts. “You're kidding. You didn’t like me that way.”

Shock washes over me as I study her reaction. I was certain it was painfully obvious how much I liked her. I went out of my way to make sure she was happy. All I ever wanted to do was spend time with her. Although I was only thirteen, I knew deep in my heart she was the woman for me.

“I’m not. I’d never joke about that. I honestly thought you knew but didn’t see me that way and just never said anything,” I admit.

The mood grows awkward as I finish sweeping the floor. I’m not sure what else to say or how to change the subject. Instead, we start working again. Katie removes the molding and wrinkled wallpaper like a pro, and I help keep the space clean.

We both take a deep breath and look at the bathtub.

“We've completed a lot already,” she says.

“So what you're saying is you're glad I’m here?”

Katie smirks. “I am glad you're here. Will say it took you long enough.”

We take a quick water break and eat leftover bagels for lunch.

“So what's next on the list after the bathroom?” I ask as we stand in the kitchen.

“I’m not sure yet,” she says around a mouthful. “I’d like to finish the first floor, then work on completing the upstairs. The only problem is Owen’s room is up there, and I want it to be done sooner than later so if we move in before everything’s done, he has somewhere to sleep. I need to make a list and stick to it, but I get overwhelmed and get off schedule. I’m paying a mortgage note and rent at my place plus double utilities, so things are tight. Moving would make it easier to save money for new furniture and décor.”

“Yeah, that makes total sense. When are you hoping you can move in?”

Katie lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Well, the flooring needs to get done, and I need to order the windows so then we could at least have the bedrooms done. In a dream world, the house would be done by the end of the year. Realistically, I think it's gonna take me a few years due to my work schedule and needing to save up for all the appliances on top of everything else.”

“Well, if it means anything, I promise to help you with whatever I can,” I say. “Seriously, just put me to work.”

“Thanks, Noah. I appreciate that, but you don't have to worry about me. I’ll eventually get it done.”

“I’ll always worry about you, Katie. No matter what. I worried about you at fifteen, and I worry about you at thirty-one.” I chuckle, but it’s true. Even when I was locked up, I thought about her constantly.

Soft eyes meet mine, and I take the opportunity to mention the past again. “Earlier, when I admitted I had a crush on you…there's actually more to the story. It wasn’t just a crush. I was in love with you for years. If I could go back in time and tell you, I would. Keeping it to myself is one of the biggest regrets of my life because when Gabe showed up, I lost my opportunity.”

Tears well on the brim of her eyes. I can only imagine how hard this is to hear.

“I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I don’t wanna keep it inside any longer. The last thing I wanna do is have something happen to me without you knowing the truth.”

“Wow.” She releases a breath. “Why didn’t you tell me all those years ago?”

“Rejection, mostly. I was scared I’d ruin our friendship if you didn’t see me that way. There were countless times when I thought it was the perfect opportunity, but I kept chickening out. I tried during our movie nights or summers hanging out together, but I was a coward. I’d thought up so many different scenarios to say something, but I’d talk myself out of it. I was too scared of your reaction. Guess I figured it was better to have you as a friend than to potentially lose you forever.”

“Noah,” she whispers.

“I think back and wonder what would’ve happened if I had told you. Maybe my life wouldn't be like it is today. Maybe Gabe would still be alive, and I wouldn't have gone to prison. Maybe you’d be my wife, and Owen would be my son.”