Page 32 of Ridge

They’d almost reached the building. Kael wasn’t sure what would happen once they got inside, but he was actually glad they’d had this conversation out here instead of in Ridge’s apartment. It helped to feel the breeze on his skin and smell the greenery around him. He was a nature demon. That was never going to change, and eventually he would have to leave his apartment and find somewhere with a garden—somewhere he could have plants and maybe find work related to that. Tex had hinted that one of his friends’ mates was interested in plants and maybe opening a shop, and Kael wanted to be part of that.

He hadn’t allowed himself to make plans because he’d been convinced this wasn’t his place, but he’d decided otherwise now. He belonged here as much as the woman in the pizzeria did, and he wasn’t going anywhere. He was here to build a life, hopefully with Ridge.

Moving had been terrifying, but it had given him so much. He still had Nymon in his life, and he wouldn’t have if he’d stayed in Starhaven. He was making new friends, including Nymon’s mate. It had given him Ridge, and hopefully, a community. Not everyone would love him, but that was okay. Not everyone had loved him when he lived in Starhaven, either. Actually, a lot of people probably hadn’t liked him. He hadn’t cared because he’d had Nymon, and the same could still be said. He still had Nymon, and now he had Ridge. That would be enough for him, at least to start. It would be enough for him to feel like his place was here rather than back in Starhaven.

He was going to stop focusing on the bad parts and start focusing on the good ones, including Ridge. He wanted them to have a chance. He wasn’t sure yet what a relationship with Ridge would look like, but they would figure it out together as time went on.

Which meant that he needed to be honest. He knew he’d hurt Ridge, and that was something he’d never wanted. He still hadn’t properly explained why he’d refused to bond, but now was the time, before things went any further. He was pretty sure that Ridge would go along with anything he asked, not just because they were mates, and he didn’t want to take advantage of that. He wasn’t the only one in this relationship. Ridge was a participant, and he deserved better than what Kael had been giving him.

“I’m sorry for saying no when you asked me to bond,” he said. “But I don’t regret it. I wasn’t ready to bond. I’m still not. I have too much to figure out, both about my place here and about myself. I’m not the person I was when I lived in Starhaven, and honestly, I’m not quite sure who I am right now. Everything’s been changing too quickly, and I feel a little lost.”

Thankfully, Ridge didn’t look hurt. He smiled, which gave Kael hope they might just work things out. “I get that,” Ridge said. “I shouldn’t have asked you to bond with me. It was too soon, and I knew it. I just got caught up in the moment, and if there’s one thing that shifters always want, it’s to bond with their mate. I already knew you were probably going to say no. The words were out before I could stop them, and while I don’t regret asking, I don’t want you to feel guilty. We can wait as long as you need. I might not have been in your specific situation before, but I know what it’s like to start over in a place where you know only a handful of people. You have to find yourself again when your whole life has completely changed, and I just hope that I’ll be allowed to be part of that life.”

“I want you to be.” And from the sound of it, Ridge wanted the same. Kael couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across his face. After avoiding this for so long, he couldn’t believe how happy he was.

He grew hesitant when he saw Ridge’s smile soften and then fade. He could tell he wouldn’t like whatever was coming next, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. He’d thought they had everything figured out.

“You know what kind of job I have,” Ridge said.

Kael frowned. “You work for the council. That’s why you were sent as my bodyguard.” Which Kael hadn’t needed, but he was still glad they’d had the time together. They probably wouldn’t have talked if they hadn’t.

“I do, but I’m not a bodyguard. In fact, I’m the opposite.”

“I know. Tex told us.”

Ridge shook his head. “I’m not like Tex, either. He works for Gregory. Eventually, he’ll become a handler, which means he’ll handle people like me. People who’re sent by the council to kill others.”

Kael wasn’t sure what was happening. “I already know what you do. Why has it suddenly become a problem?”

“Because you came from a very sheltered life in Starhaven. I don’t want you to be afraid of me or disgusted by what I am.”

“How could I be? And what are you?” Kael leaned closer, not wanting people nearby to hear. “If you’re talking about the killing—about what you do for the council—you don’t have to worry. Nymon and I talked about it. He wanted to after he found out that Tex had been trained to do what you do. We both understand that there are people, especially paranormal beings, who are untouchable when it comes to normal justice. I just have to look at what happened with the demons from Starhaven. What they did wasn’t right, and someone should’ve stopped them much sooner. Not as many people would’ve been hurt if someone had. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to do what Gregory asked and went to talk to those demons. If towns can be more open, a lot of that wouldn’t have happened. Those people would still be alive.”

“So you don’t care?”

“Not enough to not want you. It’s not something I could ever do myself, but I suspect that goes for most people. You’re not a serial killer.”

“I get paid to kill people.”

Kael wrinkled his nose. “You sound like you’re trying to talk me out of this, which I find a little strange considering you were the one who asked me to bond with you. I understand what your job is. Do I like it? No, but only because I wish no one was ever put in that kind of situation and that no one deserved to be killed. These people know what they’re doing, though. They know that they’re hurting others and going against every law that exists. They don’t care. Why should I care about them?”

“You’re incredible,” Ridge said, reaching for him.

Kael wasn’t sure about that, but he was sure of one thing.

It was time to let go of his fears and focus on the future he wouldn’t have had if he’d stayed in Starhaven. Ridge was part of that future.

And Kael couldn’t wait to see what that future would look like.

Chapter Seven

Ridge was in the kitchen getting more beer when he heard a knock at the front door. He had to navigate around a stack of boxes to reach it, and he did so with three bottles in one hand. People were waiting for him out in the backyard, and he had every intention of getting back to them as soon as he found out who was at the door.

He blinked when he opened it. “Gregory. I thought you said you couldn’t make it.”

Gregory shrugged. “I wasn’t supposed to come, but I couldn’t miss my favorite demon’s housewarming party.”

“Oh, I see. You’re not here for me.”