Page 25 of Ridge

“Would you want to bond?”

Kael stayed very still.

He knew what bonding was. Nymon had talked about it, even though he hadn’t needed to because everyone knew what bonding was, at least in theory. He’d gone into more details, though, with a lot of eye contact and check-ins to make sure Kael was still following. He’d known, even when Kael hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself.

A mating bond. That was what Ridge was offering. It would be the real thing, not just what they already had. It would be permanent in a way that went beyond the body because their souls would be linked forever. In a way, they already were, but Kael could still walk away from what they had. He wouldn’t be able to if he said yes.

He wanted it. He really did, somewhere underneath everything else. He wanted to belong to Ridge and have Ridge belong to him in that way. He could feel the pull of the bond between them, a bone-deep rightness.

But he was lying in a borrowed bed in a demon town he’d never heard of a week ago, and he’d only really known Ridge for a handful of days, and an hour ago, he’d been slightly tipsy from alcohol and a long evening of talking to strangers. He wasn’t ready. The wanting and the readiness were two entirely different things, and right now, only one of them was present.

Well, along with fear. He was also terrified.

“Not yet,” he said.

The words came out soft. He still felt Ridge go rigid under him, and his chest tightened.

“Okay,” Ridge said.

That was it. Just okay, in a voice that was very even and controlled, and Kael hated it. He hated that he’d done that. He propped himself up enough to look at Ridge’s face, and Ridge was looking at the ceiling with an expression that was carefully neutral, and that was worse than if he’d looked upset.

“Ridge.”

“It’s fine, Kael.”

“I know it’s fine, I just—” He stopped. He didn’t know how to finish that sentence. I want to, just not right now felt like it wasn’t enough. Please don’t be hurt felt ridiculous because he could see the hurt right there in the set of Ridge’s jaw, no matter how hard Ridge was trying to keep it off his face. “I mean it. Not yet isn’t the same as no.”

Ridge looked at him. Something moved across his expression, too quick for Kael to identify. “I know.”

“Really?”

There was some hesitation before Ridge answered. “Yes.”

Kael wasn’t sure he believed him, but he didn’t know what else to say, and Ridge wasn’t going to give him anything more to work with. He lay back down slowly, settling against Ridge’s side, and after a moment Ridge’s arm came back around him, which felt like something.

He stared at the ceiling. The owl was still out there somewhere, calling out into the dark. Kael wanted to explain himself better and to find the words that would make Ridge understand that this wasn’t a rejection, that he was certain of Ridge in a way he’d never been certain of anything, that the only reason he’d said not yet was because he wanted the yes to mean something and to come from a solid place and not from two glasses of whatever he’d drank. He wanted to say yes while not being afraid all the time.

But Ridge’s breathing had gone slow and even in a way that suggested he was either asleep or intended to pretend, and Kael didn’t have the words anyway. How could he explain everything he felt in words?

He closed his eyes. He’d try tomorrow.

Maybe.

* * * *

MORNING-AFTERS WERE often awkward, at least in Ridge’s experience, and this one was especially so. As soon as they opened their eyes, Kael started avoiding Ridge. He rushed into the bathroom before Ridge could even say good morning, slamming the door shut and staying there for so long that Ridge was half worried he’d drowned in the shower.

Of course, he hadn’t. He’d just been hiding, and while he couldn’t continue doing so since they were now at the kitchen table with Poppy, he was pretty obvious in the way he was avoiding looking in Ridge’s direction. Even Poppy picked up on it, but thankfully, she hadn’t asked.

Yet.

Ridge wondered if she would. She seemed genuinely worried, but there was nothing she could do to help. Besides, Kael had been clear that he didn’t want her to find out that he and Ridge hadn’t been together when they first arrived.

Though honestly, Ridge had no idea if they were together now. They’d had sex last night, and Ridge had been caught up in the moment when he’d asked Kael if he wanted to bond. He should’ve known better.

He had known better. He’d known that Kael’s answer would be no. Things were too new between them, so it made sense. That didn’t mean that hearing the word hadn’t hurt, and Ridge wished he’d done a better job of hiding that. He never wanted Kael to feel like he needed to do something he wasn’t ready for, especially when it came to their bonding. He’d been caught up in the moment, and he wanted to tell Kael that, but Kael wasn’t even looking at him.

“We had a lot of fun here,” Kael was telling Poppy, whose gaze jumped from him to Ridge.