Page 177 of Safe Word

Drank every single drop of my pain – and my release.

And now she sat there trembling with lips parted, breath shallow, caught in her own flashbacks, her own fracture.

I was barely keeping myself from losing it completely. From slamming into her, body and soul, with all the force I’d buried for too fucking long.

Because this wasn’t just want.

This was recognition.

This was… us.

‘Jesus Christ.’ It tore out of me on a ragged exhale. I shook my head, refusing the answer even before the question had a chance to crawl fully into my skull.

Shutting my eyes only made it worse. Memories flashed – Scarlett, her mouth open.

The glint of silk as I’d tied the blindfold played behind my lids like a cursed film: her body clenching around me as she came, her gasps breaking over my mouth, dragging my name through hell and back.

Her moans… Jesus… It had been Paula all along.

When I opened my eyes again, I dragged my gaze to meet hers.

I hadn’t even said anything, and she was already shaking her head with disbelief. Shock leaked from every pore, her breath catching as her gaze climbed to my forearms. My tattoos. Symbols of permanence.

Traitorous.

I looked away, back to the speckled floor, the frayed edges of the carpet – anything that didn’t feel as if I were losing my mind.

If I’d kept looking at her—

Rubbing my palms together, the friction burned enough to pull me back into my skin.

Then I leaned forward, elbows propped on my knees, face resting on my steepled hands as if I were praying to something that didn’t exist.

‘What now?’ The words left me hollow, hoarse. I nearly flinched at how real they sounded.

‘God…’ she whispered, her breath shuddering. She exhaled as though she’d been holding her breath through the entire fallout, then turned her chin to the window as if it offered an escape.

A beam of sunlight sliced through the blinds and landed across her bare knee in soft, golden contrast to the darkness in her eyes. She tugged her dress over her legs with a quick, self-conscious motion.

I stiffened.

She noticed.

Our eyes met – a collision, not a connection.

Neither of us breathed—

And then the door burst open.

I cursed inwardly, shifting fast as I swung my ankle over my knee, and adjusted myself in attempt of subtlety. I needed any kind of motion to make me feel as if my limbs were still attached to me.

For the first time in a long time, I genuinely wasn’t sure I was going to make it through a fucking interview.

Vinnie handed me the coffee in a foam cup, his eyes narrowing before flicking briefly to Paula, then back to me – a silent question teetering in the space between us.

I wasn’t going to tell him. How the fuck could I?

After pressing the other cup into her hands, he withdrew like a tide wary of the moon, as if he could sense the tension combusting between us.