Page 152 of Safe Word

My hands were bloodied, my breath ragged, and I felt every inch the monster I swore I would never be. My mother’s sobs echoed behind Paula’s. Different time – same failure. And my gaze locked on the woman in front of me – shuddering but standing, her strength anchoring me in the chaos.

‘He isn’t worth it,’ Paula said, her voice steady despite the tremor running through her.

It dawned on me then – that look in her eyes wasn’t fear of me.

It was fear for me.

For what I might become.

She already knew I was on the verge of doing it. Of losing it. Of becoming something I couldn’t go back from. The ghost of the past pulsed in my veins. It lived in the swing of my fists, in the voice that kept whispering: just finish it. If I’d kept going… I wouldn’t have stopped. There wouldn’t have been any hesitation, no second thoughts. I would have ended him, and she knew that would have sealed my fate.

I looked down at his bloodied face, a sickening reminder of how close I had come to crossing that line.

He groaned. Tried to crawl away. But I grabbed him by the collar and hauled him up with one hand. He was dead weight, his body limp, and it only deepened my disgust.

‘Listen here,’ I rumbled, every word dripping with a promise men like us understood.

‘Paula is off-limits. You’ll get on a plane and crawl back to whatever shithole spat you out. Because if I see you again – if I even hear your name – next time, I’ll run you through a wood shredder.’

The promise burned on my tongue. I’d meant it. Even if it left a bitter taste on my tongue.

But with her bruised and scared, watching me, the thought of her witnessing a killer instead of a protector hollowed me out. I couldn’t let her look at me through that lens.

Collapsing on the floor like the trash he was, he grunted, spat curses, but I didn’t care.

My focus snapped to Paula.

I stepped in front of her, my body instinctively shielding her. He wasn’t fucking getting near her again. Not now. Not ever.

With a sidelong glance at him, ‘Get the fuck out,’ I snarled. If I kept looking at him, my resolve to leave him breathing might just crumble.

He held his ground, eyes bloodshot.

‘Now!’ I roared, and she recoiled.

One step forward, he bolted for the door, every movement slow, laboured. I waited – muscles taut – ready if he tried anything.

He staggered out, leaving a trail of blood and shattered pride. But before he closed the door, he looked back and locked eyes with her.

Something happened then – a silent exchange that made her flinch as he smirked and turned away.

I lurched after him, but she stopped me, stepping in front of me.

‘No, let him go! He is not worth it, Cain!’ Paula palms pressing to my chest.

When the door finally closed, I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. The room was deathly quiet, the chaos of the fight still hanging in the air like embers after a fire.

I turned to her, my lungs tight as I searched her face. Her bruises had me clenching my fists. But instead, I tipped up her chin, the warmth of her skin mooring me to her, to sanity – whatever was left of it.

‘What did he do?’ I asked, my voice softening, almost breaking as I examined her face.

‘Just… slapped me around,’ she said. ‘He was going to do worse. How…’ she changed the topic, shutting her eyes and wincing as she touched her brow softly. ‘How did you even know?’

I blinked. ‘You called me,’ I said, frowning.

She looked up, confusion surfacing then fading. ‘I called my uncle… Didn’t I?’ She glanced around to find her phone.

Shaking my head, I kept my tone as calm as possible. ‘You called me – like you should.’