Page 136 of Safe Word

He hadn’t set me free.

He’d just brought the freedom out of me bleeding and screaming.

Like he’d said: he’d simply shown me I already was free – I just needed to see it myself, save my own sanity.

I jolted when my phone rang, the sudden sound slicing through the heavy silence, making my heart stutter. By reflex, I pivoted frantically towards my bag in the wardrobe, dropping my lip gloss.

Reclaiming the tube, I picked up my dress on the way and shoved myself into it in a clumsy rush. The fabric wiped my wet cheeks and snagged on my still-sensitive skin, as if it too refused to let go of what had happened.

By the time I reached the wardrobe door, I was breathless. I fished out my phone and glared at the screen: Gianna.

Every muscle tensed with the urge to hurl it at the wall.

Coaching myself into calming down, I answered, ‘Hey, cuz.’ My voice barely sounded like my own, thin and distant, as if travelling from somewhere far away.

‘Fuck me. Who kicked your puppy?’

I dragged a breath down to the pit of my lungs and held it until it burned – as if I could cauterise the ache there.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked stiffly, the clatter of whatever she was doing falling away into silence.

‘Ghost broke it off,’ I said shakily. The words scraped my throat raw. They weren’t quite right – too small for the weight of what they meant – but they still landed with a truth that felt heavier than anything else.

‘Oh. Shit. What happened? You okay?’

No. Not even close. ‘Yeah.’

‘Sure you are. Crazy ex on your tail, masked sex god off it… You need a good time, baby.’

I frowned. ‘Aren’t you on holiday?’

‘Boring. I came back a few hours ago. Holidays with family at twenty-eight are blah.’

I started fastening the straps of my shoes with restless fingers that wouldn’t obey, then yanked the wig off my head. It usually felt like losing a piece of myself whenever I removed it. Now, it felt like shedding something false. Like peeling off something that had never really been mine to begin with.

‘You there, baby doll?’

‘I’m here.’ The words left my mouth on autopilot.

She groaned loudly. ‘All right. Plan for tonight: we’re going after some blood.’

I stood slowly, still feeling his hands on my skin, as I moved the phone slightly away and narrowed my gaze at the screen. ‘Uh… It’s two in the morning. Wait—’ I glared at the screen again. ‘Why are you calling me at two in the morning?’

‘I slept all day, so now I’m up.’ Right. Because that automatically meant I needed to be, too. ‘Come on, amore! Half-naked boys beating each other sounds exactly like what a scorned woman needs. That – and about seven Piña Coladas.’

A reluctant laugh caught in my throat. Fragile, but necessary. ‘Make those Margaritas and I’m game. I still can’t believe you called me at two in the morning, though.’

She scoffed again.

I shook my head and rolled my shoulders as if shrugging off the weight still braced across them.

‘I need to change. Where do you want to meet up?’

‘Ossidiana.’

I froze mid-step. ‘No.’

‘Why not?’