Page 30 of Ultimate Justice

“Can Blue come?” Noah asked hopefully.

“Yes.”

“No!” Marlie shouted.

Noah’s expression clouded. “Why not? He’s a cop, too.”

What am I doing? She took a breath. A deep calming one. Outbursts were so uncharacteristic of her. So what was this really about?

Evan said nothing. Blue sat at the man’s side, also watching her. Was it her imagination, or did man and dog always have the same expressions on their faces? Ones of disapproval.

Facing the realities of having Noah and Evan in her apartment stirred up all kinds of anxieties. She was about to embark on that change she acknowledged was needed in her life, but it didn’t come without a hefty emotional price tag.

Anxiety. Shame. Most of all…fear. Stowing those emotions was essential, and Noah deserved better from her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“It’s okay.” Noah hung his head, staring at his sneakers.

“No, it’s not. I really am sorry.” Gently, she grasped his chin, forcing him to look at her. “Let’s go home.” There. She’d said the word. Home. For as long as Noah was with her, she’d do her best to make one for him.

They went inside and up the short stairs to the second floor. The air in the hallway seemed thicker than usual, suffocating. Carpeting muffled their footsteps, but she felt Evan’s presence behind her like a giant tower of doom. She pulled out her keys, desperate to get inside and get away from him.

Being a psychologist, it wasn’t difficult to psychoanalyze herself. She swallowed the lump of shame rising in her throat.

There was virtually nothing in her apartment. Only the basics necessary to live. There were no pictures or prints on the wall, no colorful throw pillows or rugs, and the furniture was stark and boring. There wasn’t even a plant. Frankly, her apartment was devoid of any sign of life, because that’s what she was. Lifeless. Her life no longer had meaning, and she didn’t want that part of her soft emotional underbelly exposed. Especially not to Evan. Why him, she didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. Like Noah, his time in her life would be fleeting.

She inserted the key into the lock. I can do this. Evan rested his hand on hers, stopping her from turning the knob. As it had in the FBI office, when they’d raced to keep Noah’s fingers from getting bitten by the white dog, a shivery, pleasant warmth shot from his touch, zooming up her arm.

He stared at their hands a moment longer before clearing his throat. “Let me and Blue go in first.” He pushed open the door, looked inside, then unhooked the leash from Blue’s collar and motioned with his arm. The dog went in. Evan followed, again motioning with his arm that she and Noah should go in.

Evan and Blue disappeared down the short hallway that led to the two tiny bedrooms and the small bathroom. She flipped on the living room light, exposing all that wasn’t here and all that was.

The emptiness in her soul. The only parts of her heart that remained were in the solitary framed photograph on the oak coffee table by the sofa and the photo album tucked away on the shelf in her closet. All the photos were of Aiden. The framed one was her favorite. It had been taken a week before Aiden went missing. Every time she came home from work, she looked at the photo, and every time she did, a little more of her died inside.

Noah dropped his bag on the sofa and looked around the room. “Wow, this is big.”

Marlie nearly laughed. Maybe from his perspective it was big.

Evan and Blue came back into the room. “All clear,” he said as he looked at her.

Her face suddenly felt hot. He’d been in her sparsely furnished bedroom with nothing more than a bed and bureau for the few clothes she owned. No longer caring what she looked like or how she dressed, she’d given all her pretty things away to charity. Even her closet held only a few remaining essentials of a wardrobe that used to be filled with beautiful dresses, blouses, and shoes.

“Good to know.” While she kind of appreciated Evan’s protectiveness, it was for Noah’s sake, not hers. Besides, what were the chances someone had actually broken into her apartment anyway? That only happened on TV.

Evan glanced at the photo of Aiden on the coffee table. “You ready to hit the farmers markets tomorrow?” he asked Noah.

“Yeah. Then can we look for Caleb?” He knelt in front of Blue, who promptly licked his chin.

“We’ll definitely look for Caleb,” Evan reassured him.

“Is Blue coming with us?” Noah asked.

“Yes, he’s coming.” Evan chuckled, a deep, rich sound that reminded her of the way her favorite college psych professor laughed. She’d always harbored a secret crush on the man.

“Can Crystal come, too?” Noah looked up at Evan, a hopeful look on his face.

Evan smiled, revealing even white teeth set in his handsome face. “Not this time.”

“Aww.” Noah frowned. “Blue wants Crystal to come. Don’t you, boy?”