Page 80 of Tough Justice

She stuffed the last of her things into her overnight bag and zipped it closed. For the last two nights, she’d stayed at her father’s house, enjoying a couple of much-needed days off. Talking to her dad about what was going on in her life had been the plan, but when the moment had presented itself, she’d chickened out. Instead, they’d talked about the past and cleared away a lot of ugly cobwebs.

After meeting Deck, it seemed that some of his latent anger toward the DEA had lessened. He’d seen how much Deck cared for her, respected him for it, and couldn’t remain angry at one man for what an entire agency had done to him and their family over ten years ago.

Although her dad knew there was something else on her mind, in his typically patient way, he’d said nothing and given her space.

The rich smell of coffee plied her out of her misery. She carried her bag downstairs to find her dad pouring them each a cup and adding milk to a small creamer.

“Thought we both could use a little late-day jolt.” He set the mugs and creamer on the kitchen table.

“Thanks, Dad.” She put her bag by the door then pulled out a chair.

“I’m teaching a class today, and you have to get to work, soon, so…” He paused to pour cream into his mug. “I know you like spending time here with me, but I’m guessing you also came here for a specific reason.”

She picked up the creamer, adding it to her coffee and looking up to find him watching with a puzzled expression. She followed the direction of his gaze to the tiny pitcher in her hand. Creamer.

He knew she always took her coffee black, but ever since Deck had strong-armed her into trying that white chocolate mocha, she’d been enjoying her coffee with a bit of cream. She rolled her lips inward as unexpected tears backed up behind her lids.

“Did something happen between you and Deck?” When she nodded, he gave her forearm a gentle squeeze. “Tell me.”

So she did, starting with Deck’s sister, followed by a running chronology about everything that had happened between them. Well, almost everything. A father doesn’t really want to hear about his little girl having sex or being nearly killed.

“Hmm.” He pursed his lips. “So he feels you betrayed his personal and professional trust, and you don’t want to be with someone who has such a dangerous job.”

When she sniffled, he plucked a tissue from a pack he always carried in his breast pocket and handed it to her.

She took it and dabbed at her eyes. “That about covers it.”

“You know, I always wanted more exciting opportunities for you.” He leaned in, resting his forearms on the table. “It killed me not to be able to pay for your college tuition, but I couldn’t have been prouder of you for working so hard to make that happen anyway. But from that moment on, you always played things safe, never taking a single chance at doing something that might not turn out exactly the way you planned it or thought it should. You were…content.”

“What’s wrong with being content?”

“Nothing. But that’s not how it always was with you.” He sat back. “Before I lost my license, you used to try all kinds of new and exciting things. You went on overnight hikes into the mountains. You snowshoed across town during a blizzard just to see if you could. Do you remember?”

She nodded. He was right. “But why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because it’s your life to live as you choose. If you want to stay home in front of the fire every night and read a book, then that’s what you should do. But if you want to go cliff diving or bungee jumping, then that’s also what you should do.”

Tori let her dad’s metaphor hang there in the air. Funny how she’d said something to Deck about how she wasn’t into bungee jumping. In fact, all the decisions she’d made until now had been safe. Her dad had taken risks, and it had cost them everything. Not that she blamed him, he’d been following his heart, doing what he strongly believed in. Until now, she’d never had the guts to do that. She’d been so careful not to make the same mistakes or take any risks that she’d been living her life with her head down, not held high. Deck had forced her to look up.

“One day, he’ll realize he’s been living in his past. Despite what agency he works for, I must admit that he has character. Trust me, he’ll figure out soon enough that he’s a horse’s ass and that he never should have let you go.”

Perhaps, but she’d never be capable of ignoring someone in pain when there was something she could do to help them. Deck having a problem with that because of what happened with his sister wasn’t fair to her. “Even if he does, I’m not sure I’m ready to take that kind of leap.”

Her father leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Only you can answer that question. As for Deck, while I wasn’t exactly happy about it at first, I saw the way he looks at you. It’s the way a man looks at something—or someone—he wants really badly. Fathers are always right, so take my advice and noodle on this for a while.”

…

Tori sat at the traffic light, waiting for the light to change before turning into the hospital. Her little Subaru purred like a kitten, thanks to the new battery she’d had installed.

Thinking about the battery made her think of Deck. Actually, everything made her think of him.

The light changed, and she pulled into the lot, parking next to Wil’s blue Nissan. She’d taken her dad’s advice, noodling during the entire drive to work but was nowhere near being happy about the direction it had taken her. Her head hurt. More importantly, her heart still hurt. How can I be in love with someone I’m so completely incompatible with? Or who didn’t trust her enough to know she’d never risk hurting him, Thor, or his friends?

The painful, hollowed-out feeling was worsening by the second. She shut off the engine and sat there, wondering if there were anything she would have done differently and coming up blank. She’d get past this. Everyone who’s ever been jilted always does. Right then and there, it didn’t seem like she would.

She grabbed her purse and was about to go inside but stopped. Max Maynard pulled in, driving a brand-new silver car just like out of the movie Back to the Future, the one with doors that opened up like wings. A DeLorean. And just last week, Neil Shibowsky had driven up in his new black Ferrari, the one he’d bragged to Wil about. That was an awful lot of cash to drop on a car. Then again, they were surgeons.

Surgeons having flashy cars was nothing new, but it was an unwelcome reminder that her trusty Subaru and Wil’s practical Nissan labeled both of them as being something less-than in the doctor world.