Page 66 of Blood Money

Interrogating a lover about his feelings had never been her style, but dammit, this situation was different and she had a right to know. The last thing she wanted was to get involved with another man who wouldn’t be there for her. Not in the way she wanted.

“Gray?” she asked between sips. “Two nights ago I told you not to touch me again.”

“I do recall you saying that.” He watched her over the rim of his mug, the hint of a smile playing at his lips.

“Yes, but that was after you said this would never happen between us.”

He rubbed a hand over his dark stubble. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Was it because I’m a police cooperator?” Alex paused before taking a giant leap that might completely alienate him. “Or was it because of something that happened with a woman in Afghanistan?”

Gray’s jaws clenched and his nostrils flared.

Suddenly worried that he would totally shut down on her, Alex hurried to lighten the mood. “Don’t worry, Cassie didn’t divulge anything private. It’s amazing what a girl can learn by lingering in the break room. That place is rife with gossip, and anyone is fair game.”

“I’ve heard that.” Gray’s face softened as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “What else did you learn in the break room?”

Alex set her mug on the nightstand and turned onto her side so they faced each other. “Did you know all the women talk about you behind your back?”

“Uh-oh.” Gray squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced.

“Nothing bad. They all secretly lust after you, even the married ones.”

“Same goes for you, princess.” When he smiled, Alex breathed a sigh of relief that she’d taken the right approach in changing topic. “All the guys in the squad take bets on who will be the first to get lucky with you.”

“I’d say you won that wager by a landslide.” She licked her lips, recalling every sensual detail of last night. “How much did you bet?”

“I didn’t.” He wound a strand of her hair around his finger. “Not my style.”

She tucked her cheek against his hand. “Tell me, detective, what exactly is your style?”

“Dinner, normally several before sex. Maybe a ballgame. I’m a traditional guy, but when it comes to you, nothing is traditional.”

Alex felt a shaft of disappointment when Gray referred to their lovemaking as sex. But she knew enough about men to realize they often weren’t aware that their choice of words could be hurtful.

“You mean because we slept together and we’ve only had one date?” she asked.

“Yeah, that. And the fact that when I’m around you I can’t think straight. All I want to do is touch you, kiss you, taste you.” His eyes darkened, and he lowered his voice. “Get inside you.”

Alex slanted him a suspicious look. “Is that all you want from me, aside from helping you with this case?”

Gray exhaled a long, heavy breath. “I didn’t sleep with you just for sex. Which, by the way, was mind-blowing, in case you couldn’t tell.”

Alex smiled, thrilled that it was as memorable for him as it had been for her. “What was the real reason you didn’t ask me out a long time ago, before you found out the Pyramid gave me money?”

“I told you, I didn’t think you were ready.” He clasped her hand and kissed it. “Neither of us was ready. As much as I wanted you, we both needed time to get to know each other.”

Alex looked down at their clasped hands, unsure what to say. Gray’s assessment was totally accurate. “I guess we all have things in our past that make it hard to let down our guards.”

“Amen to that.” Gray turned onto his back, holding her hand to his chest.

As he stared at the ceiling, Alex could practically see the demons behind his eyes. She wondered what he was remembering. Instinct told her she already knew.

“Something terrible happened to you in Afghanistan,” she said, rather than asked. Gray released her hand and massaged the bridge of his nose. “Talk to me. I want to help.”

His broad chest rose on a deep inhale and he threaded his fingers through hers. “There’s nothing you can do to help. It’s in the past.”

“But it’s not, is it?” Alex said, shaking her head. “Whatever it is, it’s here in this bed with us and always will be unless you talk about it.”