Page 39 of Fortune’s Final Folly

She had little choice but to embrace who she was in all its nuances and explore her past—or risk losing everything.

Her vision clouded as tears pooled in her eyes at the same time a new, raw clarity settled around her. “What I need, what I’ve always needed, is the truth—no matter how hurtful it is. My parents died without telling me anything of my past…of their past. If they lied to me about so many things, it is possible Mr. Cuttlebottom speaks the truth about the building, and my father did agree to sell my home to him. Who is this woman, the countess? And where did she come from? Why was I unwanted—something to be kept hidden and eventually forgotten? And why all the secrecy behind the bequeathal to the vicar?”

She fell silent as her questions continued echoing in her mind. Who was she, and what did all of this mean for her future?

Forgetting everything would be impossible. Continuing as she had before today would be foolish, as well. And accepting her new identity, while heartbreaking and terrifying at the same time, might be a necessity.

“You are confused,” Joshua whispered. “And rightly so, I fear.”

“What do I do, Joshua?” She pulled her hands from his and brushed away a tear before it blazed a path down her cheek to betray her fragile state. She’d attempted to handle matters herself, but it had become more and more apparent that Kate needed Joshua. “You’ve guided me of late. You must know what I should do next and what is to come. Do I listen to the woman and forsake my parents, tarnishing their memory? Or should I refuse to listen, cast the woman out, and attempt to forget everything?”

“There is no easy path or simple answer.” He pressed his fingers to her jaw, lifting her chin. “However, I do know that nothing you learn today can alter who you are. You are still Katherina…sweet, caring, and intelligent. You are a daughter, a friend, and a teacher. None of that has changed. Anything new we learn about your past will only add to what you already are, not take away from it. This is a decision—whatever it is—that you must make for yourself and no one else.”

Kate wished his words were true, longed for him to be correct because if he were, they’d one day be able to return to how things were before the fire. Before she’d moved into his townhouse, and before Lady De Vere appeared in his office. They’d once more be solicitor and teacher.

He could remain in her life and she in his.

She’d lied when she claimed they couldn’t be friends.

Kate longed to call Joshua her friend, though she desired to be more to him. Her heart longed for him in a completely different manner. To go back to the days when she watched him leave his office at sunset from her bedchamber window and dreamt of where he went at night before she knew of his grand house. Back to the days he’d saunter into her schoolroom with a friendly, bright smile and a hearty joke for the children. Back to the times when she’d wave as she and the children marched down the street toward the bookseller.

In that alternate reality, Kate could hold fast to him and not ponder the possibility of him leaving her life. She didn’t need to fret over what she would do or where she’d go once her trust was completely depleted. In those days, before she’d discovered that her body, her mind, and her very soul craved him, she hadn’t had to confront the many troubling aspects of her life. Not her suspicions surrounding the vicar and his wife or the holes concerning her heritage. She’d been able to love them as her parents—nothing more and nothing less.

However, if she entertained a conversation with the countess, everything could—and likely would—change. Accepting her new place as the daughter of nobility might well mean her existence in Cheapside could not continue as it had, even if she attempted to keep everything the same.

Chapter 15

The two women—one he’d known for years, and another he’d only just met that day—sat side by side, neither truly seeing what Joshua saw before him. Beyond their distinct appearances, their posture was similar, each tucking one ankle behind the other, hands clasped in their laps. They made a striking pair. Even their voices were of the same light melody he’d come to relish hearing when Kate spoke.

He imagined how the pair would have taken London society by storm to enchant every lord and gain the envy of most ladies.

Kate…the daughter of a countess.

The news changed nothing about how Joshua felt for Kate. She was still the intelligent, compassionate, giving woman he’d known since journeying to Cheapside all those years ago. Be her nobility or a gentlewoman, Joshua did not care. His heart knew not the difference—and his mind agreed. He was not fool enough to think it didn’t matter to those of the peerage, but to Joshua, it was insignificant.

Her strength had not wavered, even when faced by such life-altering information. If anything, her beauty had multiplied in his eyes. She was not resigned to wear a façade, portraying one thing on the outside while being different on the inside.

Though she hadn’t known who she was or what her past held, Kate had always had a true sense of who she wanted to be.

The trio had retired to Joshua’s mother’s favored sitting room immediately upon arriving at Cavendish Square. Joshua had bid a maid to collect Dolly and send her to join them before setting about bringing tea to the sitting room.

Dolly, ever the perfect lady’s companion, had entered the room and hardly showed any shock at the older woman’s presence. She hadn’t batted an eye when A’laya had been introduced as the Countess of Holderness, though she preferred simply A’laya. Nor had she so much as flinched when she was told that A’laya was Kate’s mother.

There was nothing Joshua could do as introductions were completed, tea was served, and the room fell silent.

Both Kate and the countess picked at the stitching in their skirts.

It was as if they both dreaded the conversation that was to come, except Joshua could see no reason for either woman to be fearful.

“Tell me, my lady,” Dolly said, setting her cup on the table at her elbow. “I have always admired Miss Kate’s complexion. It is not the sickly pale that most young women favor of late. I am pleased to note that she gained it from you.”

Joshua held his breath but was relieved when the countess smiled.

“Many years ago, my grandmother, Zeta, met a man in Barbados when his ship, the Bonnie Belle, docked near her home.” A’laya paused for a moment, but when Kate seemed to lean closer, taken in by news of her past, the woman continued. “His name was Samson. They fell in love, and she sailed back with him to England. They wed shortly after and started their family.”

“That is very intriguing.” Dolly sighed, pressing her palm to her chest. “Please, do go on…”

Joshua noticed that Kate had stopped fussing with her gown, though her fingers trembled.